Outside my window…It’s sunny again. We’re due for a cold front, and I would be so happy if that came true. It was miserably hot this week. The humidity almost killed me. So please, some nice weather would be nice.

I am listening to…The Texans and the Cowboys play. And Goose talk total shit right now. I don’t think he realizes that I’m a Cowboys fan through and through. And that’s fine as long as he likes the Longhorns. It is pretty cute watching him get excited about the game.

Speaking of…what the eff happened to my team? I knew there were major problems, but come on…more than a bit worried about this weekend. When the Longhorns lose, I usually retire whatever shirt I’ve worn so far. Since I’m pregnant, that really isn’t an option for me this year. Also hoping nobody is dumb enough to call or expect to see me on Saturday. I watch games with Lance, my brother and dad or alone in the bedroom. There might be few exceptions for some games but definitely not for TX/OU. None.

I am wearing…a blue shirt and beige shorts with my heart pendant. Love my pendant.

I am grateful…that my hubby decided to watch the game at home instead of at Reliant. It’s been a long week and I didn’t want another day without him around.

I am praying…that we make the right decision about Goose.

I am thinking…that this week has been really long. I am tired and still have to make it to Costco and the grocery store, plus cook dinner and get ready for the week.

From the kitchen…another great week. We made lettuce wraps, which we loved so much we are having them again on Monday. I have a pretty good menu planned, but am hoping my baby takes me to dinner next weekend.

On keeping home…I love a clean house! Honestly, there are few things that make me that happy. Here’s hoping that I keep up with things this week. I have a full bag for donations from just one toy basket. We didn’t make it to the closets this week, but I am anticipating a huge donation drop this week. Yay for purging.

From the learning rooms…Goose read a Merlin Mission that took him to Florence. He read about Leonardo Da Vinci. It was cool to show him pictures from my past trips there and to look at Da Vinci’s paintings online. We finished A week in science and will start Bugs next week. We already have three books, two games, some fun worksheets, (if you can call worksheets fun) and we’re off to the library for more books tomorrow. I ordered Handwriting Without Tears for the Baby Hulk and can’t wait to start. Super excited about that.

On living the liturgy…it’s a big week for Saints. Last week we had Padre Pio, next week we have the Archangels, St. Jerome, St. Terese and St. Francis. These are all amazing saints that the boys can relate to really well so I am excited about that.

To be fit and happy…I am loving spin. The instructor rocks. I feel like the slowest one in there, but don’t care. Now if I could just get rid of my sweet tooth.

Around the house…we bought three paint samples yesterday. I hope we make a quick decision this week and hire someone next week. And please, God, can you get people moving on my garage? Yes, I can deal with a newborn and workers, but I DON’T WANT TO.

One of my favorite things…learning toys. I am so lame, but I love them! My current favorite is Super Mind. The Baby Hulk is really good at these puzzles. And I just realized that they have a magnetic version for the car as well. Both Goose and Baby Hulk want them for Christmas.

Another favorite thing…DEXTER! It starts tonight. Can’t wait.

Snax this week…let’s see…he fell off a chair again yesterday, leaving a huge bruise on his forehead. Did that matter to him? Nope, he was up on a chair again within seconds. He pulled an apple out of the garbage, went outside and got in the mud, screamed at everyone. All this is cute, but the thing about him is that he has a rotten attitude a lot of the time. He has been pretty sweet talking to his brothers though. I love hearing him pick up new words.

A few plans for the week…Baby Hulk’s four year old check up and the library on Monday, The Magic Flute at Miller’s Outdoor theatre on Tuesday, swim lessons Wednesday and Thursday, cleaning and a play date for the little ones on Friday. A busy week.

A picture thought I am sharing…

The boys and the twins

Explanation: First, I know it’s fuzzy, but since we were at church I had to turn the flash off. It was just so cute watching the little ones try and copy Goose during Mass that I just had to take a picture. And yes, I know I am not supposed to be taking pictures during Mass, but Mass was almost over, my mood from the loss had not improved and well, I just took the picture because I wanted to take it.

Am I allowed to be happy right now? The Cowboys won!

The Baby Hulk proposed to me yesterday. Even Goose hasn’t done that. He made my heart melt.

After telling Lance the story this morning, he started asking the Baby Hulk who was prettier: mom or the Barefoot Contessa, mom or Rachel Ray. The real test came when he said mom or Giada. His answer: I’m not going to tell you. I guess I am happy that BH is smart enough to remain silent and that I am at least prettier than the other two. Lance’s actions show that he is still jealous over Goose’s overwhelming love for me though.

If nothing else, this blog is a place for me to vent. The good and bragging about my kids and husband as well as the negative. Lately is seems super negative, but it’s been a really long week.

My dislike for Goose’s teacher is going up and up. Yesterday, she wrote a note home reminding me that his red folder needed to be turned on every Monday, with the word EVERY underlined. Silly lady needs to check her crap before reminding me like that. The red folder: at school. I ran into someone from the school, a dad I don’t even know who made the mistake of asking if I liked Rogers. Not the day for that question. I went on for twenty minutes about my dislikes, esp his teacher, apologizing because he is clearly happy there and didn’t ask to be dumped on like I did. Turns out, he has heard horrible things about the teacher too. That’s good and bad: good because I’m not crazy with my feelings, bad because now what do I do? He did recommend venting to the principal. I like that idea!

I think maybe my mood this week was at an all time low because of watching back to back episodes of SVU. Could this show make you more afraid to let your kids out of your sight???

The good…Travis Rogers started working for 1560, and he came to dinner. The boys loved him and thankfully, he misses his family right now so he had no problem listening to them all night.

Goose was out early today from school so we went to Whole Foods to count different types of apples. We found 14 varieties. The boys guessed 12 and 13 different types, not bad. We’ve been learning about apples all week. The boys have read several different books, and we were happy to find a picture book with Amelia Bedelia. Turns out she was just as goofy as a kid. Goose and Baby Hulk think we need to buy all the Amelia Bedeia books for our home library. I could be persuaded, I think. We have two small projects tomorrow and we’re off to Bugs next week!

I feel better and it’s not just from venting. I cleaned house wearing a superhero cape. Goose’s idea. God, I love my boys!

I’m the person who has always loved talking on the phone. You hear people say how they hate the phone all the time. Not me. I loved it. I could make any boyfriend stay on the phone with me for hours despite how much guys hate to talk. Even after kids, I could still talk all day. I wasn’t the person who hung up just because their kid was crying. I could make lunch, change diapers, referee fights, yell and so on all while talking on the phone.

A few months ago, I decided I wanted to change that. I decided I wasn’t going to talk on the phone or get online while the kids were around. I wanted to be fully present to them. Of course, there are exceptions, but for the most part, I have to say I have really followed this and I love it. I think my desire came partly from wanting to be a better mother, but also from the reactions I’ve had from people in the past when I haven’t answered the phone. Because of course, if you don’t answer one line, you know another call is coming on the other one. It’s like people can’t believe the audacity of you not taking their call. With four kids, what else could I be doing except waiting for a phone call? Ninety-nine percent of the time, I’ll take Lance’s call, but other than that, if I’m eating or with the kids, I usually don’t answer the phone. My big exception is the worst time: when I’m driving. It’s sad, I know, but that is when the kids listen to music and I don’t have to really be present to them. Just the others drivers, right?

I had one friend tell me that we’d never talk again. I admit we don’t talk as much, but my first priority is to the kids. The reality is that they deserve my ALL. Not a “just a minute” so I can talk on the phone or check something out online. I don’t think I’m creating kids that need to be entertained all the time or that don’t know how to be by themselves. I just want them to know they come first. Always.

I still love a good phone call, but overall, I’m happy with the changes I’ve made. I think the kids are too.

Look what I found on Target’s dollar aisle! My mood drastically improved after these purchases, just a dollar each. I have no clue what I’m going to do with two Snoopy bags, but I am sure I’ll come up with something.

For Today…September 20, 2010

Outside my window…it’s dark outside. My first break for today. The weather was actually decent today. I would love for things to cool down, but I’m not holding my breath.

I am wearing…the same shirt as in the pictures and denim shorts. I will admit it now, I will probably wear this shirt for the rest of my pregnancy. I hate buying maternity clothes, it seems like such a waste. So this means, I have a rotation of like four shirts. I guess it’s a good thing it doesn’t get really cold here because I can wear them until the baby arrives.

I am listening to…Monday night football.

I am grateful for…my phone call with Chel last week, my husband who keeps me in line, my kids who forgive, Mad Men, friends moving back to Houston and Castle starting tonight!

NOW, can I name the things that annoy me…okay, I won’t, the list would be too long.

I am reading…so many books with Goose. We are on the home stretch of the Merlin Mission books of Magic Tree House. We are reading about two a week. Even with journaling and researching things we find interesting in the book, he is finishing them so fast.

I am thinking…that this week is already off to a bad start and how I can change that. Here’s hoping tomorrow morning is a good one.

To be fit and healthy…SO…I have already gained 40 pounds, yes, 40 pounds. Nobody believes me, which means to my warped mind that I must look a lot bigger than I really am under normal circumstances, so thanks everyone for that one! Anyway…my weight gain is making my knee hurt so I took a week off from the gym and am now doing spin. No more Body Combat or Body Pump for me. Kind of bummed, but I love the spin class so I guess I’ll be fine.

Around the house…I am purging big time. I have been collecting BA magazines since law school. Last year, I started going through them, pulling recipes and had about a year left to finish before I got bored with that project. That year turned into two years worth of magazines. Over the weekend, I finally tossed all of them, I didn’t even bother looking at them. I’m over saving magazines. In fact, I think I’m about to cancel my subscription. I just purged my personal files this afternoon. My closet is next, then the boys. I am only keeping favorite outfits. If this baby turns out to be another boy, I guess I’m screwed. But I am done saving things.

From the kitchen…so happy to report that we are still keeping up with our menus. I am excited about what we’re eating this week.

From the learning rooms…When I first sent Goose to school, I wasn’t going to supplement at home at all. After all, he was gone all freaking day. But forget it. We’re doing book reports, math facts, and are getting ready to start Story of the World, a history curriculum. If he stays in school and it gets to be too much, then we’ll stop everything but the extra reading, if we pull him out, then we have something to go on. The Baby Hulk has proved to be a difficult student. My goal is three hours a week, total. We’ve turned everything into a game with him. It’s amazing that since he turned four, he has thrown more fits than ever and not just during school time.

Towards rhythm and beauty…I have learned not to be quite as rigid with the schedule and that’s a good thing. I suppose I am finally learning to be flexible.

I am praying…for peace.

Projects…picking out a paint color for our living room. I need the walls painted so I can get my shelves. This isn’t really the season that Lance has tons of extra time to pick out paint colors. Still waiting on my garage to get going. Really worried I’m going to have a baby and contractors at my house.

One of my favorite things…reading with the boys. LOVE IT.

A few plans for the week…not much, I just want to organize everything.

Scenes from a birthday…

I am breaking my rule on not posting crappy pictures of people. Goose was so upset because I was kissing Baby Hulk and giving him attention on his birthday. How dare I?! This night had a lot of tears for Goose.

I hate Goose’s school. There, I said it. It’s not better this year. In fact, it’s worse. Quite frankly, I don’t see what the big deal is about the school. If this is a G/T or Vanguard program, I would hate to see how bad a regular school in the city is. The fact that it is rated so high means nothing to me since the ratings are basically based upon test scores.

I remember someone once telling me how they had a friend at a different Vanguard school that loved the program. The school was also a neighborhood school, and their second kid hadn’t qualified for the program. Supposedly that program was so great and interesting that he wished the other kid were in it. I have no feelings like that. Let’s see, the first field trip of the year is to the exact same place he went last year. Super imaginative on their part. When I asked Goose’s teacher for an explanation about the type of reading test he had been given this year, she couldn’t tell me the difference between this test and the one he took last year. I asked for a class schedule, and she didn’t want to give me one. He missed three days of school and had three worksheets to complete while gone. What the eff do they do all day? Why not tell the parents what they are studying so we can do something at home with our children that might reinforce their studies? At the very least, I’d love to have a conversation with my son about what he does during the day. Without a guide to their studies, I have to rely on him giving me a play by play of the day, which most people know six year olds don’t give.

My friend once asked me if I thought school was just about the three R’s when I moaned about the time wasted in school. While I realize there is more than just learning the basics, like making friends and learning to follow rules, I do think the three R’s are what it should be about. It seems to me they don’t do much except learn how to walk in the halls. I swear, it takes them more than ten minutes to get back from the cafeteria. I can promise if they just go, they would get there much more quietly.

And please explain why I, the person who doesn’t believe in shit homework, am stuck doing it every day with him. They have him there all day long, maybe if they spent more time in the room rather than learning how to walk down the hallway, they would learn more and not have petty worksheets.

They say that your first fight with your spouse is the same thing you will fight about for the rest of your relationship. I think it’s safe to say that this subject matter has taken over.

It’s interesting the things that you loved from your childhood. From your favorite dishes to a certain item around the house that you try to tactfully ask your parents to leave to you rather than your brother. Me, I’m not known for tact when it comes to asking for stuff at all. I always figure it never hurts to ask. And both my parents have never had a problem telling me no to my requests. (Not to say that I wasn’t spoiled rotten, but they had their limits!)

I have always loved this one picture my mom had in our dining room of the Last Supper. I knew that it would be mine one day for the simple reason that I’m the “religious” one. My brother goes to church but isn’t much into religious art. The problem was that I didn’t want to wait to get my favorite painting. For years, I have been begging my mom to give me this piece of art for my dining room. How could she refuse? But refuse she did until last Spring. As she finally passed it on, she told me that she never really liked it anyway. Really? She liked it enough to refuse me for several years.

Lance took one look at it and asked when I was throwing it away. So I hid it for several months and finally last week took it out and placed it on top of the china cabinet. I had redone the top, and it made a nice addition. Lance didn’t notice for two days. Now he is telling me I have to get rid of it.

How can I get rid of this piece that always makes me smile. I used to stare at it despite the fact that we weren’t allowed in the dining room. The reason I stared: it’s a Hologram. I could turn my head and see either the Last Supper or Jesus. Lance thinks it looks like it should be sold at one of the stalls at a flea market. I guess in theory it’s slightly cheesy and the ornate frame always made it seem prettier than it was.

Since our dining room is about to become a regularly used room once the next baby arrives, I have to come up with a solution. I don’t think I can listen to jokes about my picture for the rest of my life.

My most amazing little boy, you are now four years old. Today you said you were sorry to be getting older because you know it makes me sad, but that you had to grow up like your big brothers. Yes, you do. And while it does make me sad, I love watching the changes in you every day. You are my passionate child. You feel everything and let everyone know your feelings all the time. I know for a fact that you were given to me so I could learn to be more compassionate with people that are different from me.

Baby Hulk, you are truly the sweetest boy I know. I love that as soon as someone cries, you run over and check on them. You want to make sure everyone is okay. You share pretty decently for your age, especially considering you have other brothers to contend with each day. You are loyal and for that I am grateful. You love your brothers and hate when they get in trouble. You are the compassionate one in this family and hopefully some of that will rub off on everyone else.

Your smile brightens my day. And nothing is better than sitting on the couch and holding hands. I love that you run back in my room to say, “I love you” on Saturday mornings before watching a television show, and I love how many hugs you give me every day. Two days ago you ran inside to tell me you wanted to talk to your baby sister and you sat at my belly talking non-stop. It’s the sweet things that make me forget why we call you Baby Hulk. You are most definitely maturing emotionally, but you can still go from one to ten in seconds.

I am anxious to see what you’ll do this year. You make friends everywhere we go. You are super smart and already making me so proud. I can’t believe that four years ago, I wasn’t able to hold you and that you were covered in tubes. You were certainly special from the start, needing lots of extra attention. Even now, you need that extra attention and I am happy that I have learned how to stop and be the mom you need, most of the time. Thank you for your happiness, your tenderness, your laughter and your love. I wish nothing but the best for you. I pray that Mary, all the angels and Saints watch over you always while I’m gone. God bless you always, my most handsome little boy. I love you dearly, always.

1. While discussing what the boys could have for dinner, I told Lance that the Baby Hulk could have something different from he said. BH in his most smart ass voice said, “I told you mom was boss.” I could have died. I try really hard to make Lance the big boss of the house. I might need to work on that a bit more.

2. Goose and the Baby Hulk were discussing heaven. Goose assured him that “you don’t die until you are really old and short, like Bisa.” Baby Hulk said,”Like Mimi and grandpa?” I think he was just referring to the short part, but should I be posting this right before his birthday? It got worse because Goose then told me I didn’t have to worry because I wasn’t shrinking yet.

3. After hearing the boys argue about who I love best, Lance asked Goose who he loved best, thinking Goose would answer appropriately. Goose took no time in saying “Mom”. He was quick to add that he loved Lance “second best”. Did I smile at all?