I went confession last week.  Long overdue.  That doesn’t mean it’s been forever since I’ve gone, just that I knew I had some sin that needed to be addressed.

I made my plans for the evening known well in advance as well as the fact that Squirt and Goose would be joining me.  I encouraged Lance to join in as well, but didn’t dictate his attendance.  (He’s my husband not my kid.)

St. Michael’s Parish always has a penance service during Lent and Advent.  And I love it.  They bring in several priests and you can choose face to face, anonymous and which priest you want.  It’s so great to see so many people lined up for confession.

Lance wasn’t home when we left so I had everyone with me.  What was I thinking?  Note to self: when you go to confession in the evening and there are lots of people trying to do the same, don’t be cheap, suck it up and pay for a sitter.  Your confession will start out much less stressful if you aren’t trying to keep your kids from acting like maniacs in a church.

Lance finally arrived and was stuck with the littles while I waited.  He had the same expression on his face when I released him from kid duty and had to wait several minutes before finding his own line.

Confession was wonderful.  The more I go, the better it gets.  Lance teases me that I think I am more Catholic if I spend more time in the confessional.  Not true.  I just want to make sure I get everything out and that I have a good confession.

It was really important to take the boys to confession as well.  I loved watching Goose go face to face without any qualms.  And Squirt’s was meaningful as well…it’s hard not to ask each kid “what did you confess” or say “don’t forget ABC”.  But honestly, I keep my mouth shut.  I also think it’s great for the littles to see us go as a family too.

My friend that moved to the middle east showed up after I told her about the service.  She later told me it was the best going away gift she received.  Confession is that good.

We reached a new milestone today: Sunshine is now a forward facing baby.

I know, she’s two and three months.  (Notice that, no annoying 27 months from me.)

It was finally time to turn this girl around so she could see the world.

Why was she still facing backwards?  My pediatrician.  At Goose’s one year check-up, I commented about turning his car seat around.  The doctor told me to keep him rear facing as long as possible.  It seems I really took it heart with this little girl.

Plus, she’s petite.  She really didn’t need to turn around.

Plus, she loves looking at her big brothers.  Except when she doesn’t.  But generally, she loves laughing with them.  When Goose saw me changing the car seat, he was not very happy.  Which made me sad.  He loves talking with her, singing with her, throwing his Big Snoopy at her and just being with her.  Now he won’t see her sweet face when driving in the car.

I hate this whole growing up thing.

:: Friday’s new tradition, Flowers for Sunshine from dad, was a success.  Again.  Mom’s fabulous idea.  Yes, I have a problem with pride.  I know.  I confess it often.  Anyway, I was thinking about the father/daughter bond and just trying to come up with something sweet Lance could for his daughter.  And then I thought flowers.  Every week.  So it started last Friday.  Just simple yellow flowers.  And boy, does she know they are her flowers.  She loves them, points to them and makes sure everyone knows they are not moms.  If only she knew whose damn idea it was!

Lance used to buy me flowers quite often.  Making sure I didn’t feel left out, he bought tulips for me.  Sunshine thinks they belong to her, but they are all mine!  And they are beautiful.

:: The boys have started baseball.  Three boys in baseball.  What the hell was I thinking?  What happened to the rule about no organized sports until you are 5?  Snax is so cute though.  It takes him a while to hit the ball, but that’s okay because once he does, he’s good.  Baby Hulk is actually pretty good and Goose will be once he gets the hang of the machine.

We’ve completed one week of games, and Baby Hulk’s team isn’t too bad.  They have some good hitters and just need to learn about fielding.  Goose’s team won today as well and he hit twice off the machine.  And Snax, well, first he was pissed to be missing a birthday party.  But we made it through that and he went to the game with a decent attitude.  30 minutes into the game, he commented that it was taking too long.  I can always depend on him for honestly.

:: Pope Francis is celebrating Holy Thursday in a juvenile detention center instead of St. Peter’s or St. John Lateran.  You cannot wipe the smile off my face.  Or the admiration.  Seriously, he picked the right Saint to model himself after.   Pope Francis’ love for the poor and most needy just makes me happy.  This is exactly what we need now.  And it seems like I need to get myself to Rome for a papal audience soon.  I might need to rethink my fear of flying and my “I’ve been to Europe enough times” stance.

And can I say that I love how much my kids talk about the Holy Father?  I wonder if I ever talked about JPII?  I don’t remember talking about him.  I knew who he was of course, but I didn’t come to love him until I was in my 20’s.  But my kids, they talk about the Popes and ask questions and that just makes me proud.  And to be honest, it makes me feel like I’m doing something right.

Back to Holy Week…I am so humbled right now.  And so full of love.  I want more from my faith and my prayer life.  I need to be doing more.

:: Someone saw Sunshine today after almost a year and commented that she certainly wasn’t petite anymore.  How do you take that?  I know she isn’t, she eats like a pig and screams when you don’t feed her.  But still…it’s like those people on twitter who tell you that you look fat or old, for who knows what reason.  Nobody ever wants to hear about their weight unless it’s to say they look really skinny.

:: Speaking of skinny, is there anything better to make a girl start a diet than for her to find out that someone bigger than her now weighs less than her?  Not speaking from personal experience or anything.

:: The boys all have their own helmets for baseball.  Clearly, there is a reason and that reason is in the form of little bugs that invade your life.  We’ve had two practices so far, and each time, I’ve told them not to let anyone use their helmet.  At All.  Last week, Snax ran to practice shouting at the coach, “here is my helmet and nobody can use it, my mom says.”  Someone kept asking Goose over and over to use his helmet, but he wasn’t budging.  The kid kept asking why and Goose, just said, “NO”.  And Baby Hulk, well, someone dared to pull his helmet off his head.  And I thought he might lose his cool.  He did yank it back and say, “it’s my helmet and you can’t use it!”

From an outsider it sounds like I am raising little selfish demons, but I’m not.  I always make sure my kids share, probably to the point of interfering too much, but on this one, sorry, guys, get your own helmets.  Having lice was worse than any asshole boyfriend.  It’s that bad.  It’s so bad, that I haven’t given the kids back their stuffed animals or comforters.  I am making them have one more lice check before handing over the goods.

:: Squirt is getting ready for Prom.  All I can say is thank you mom and dad.  This crap is ridiculously expensive.  I can’t wait to see everyone all dressed up though, especially my handsome son.  I hope his date doesn’t dress trashy.

:: I recently had a friend move to a middle eastern country.  As in she left yesterday.  Honestly, I can’t imagine leaving before Holy Week, but she did.  She packed up her house, organized things and will be home to visit in 9 months.  She’s gone for three years, her parents aren’t happy, but she’s following her husband.  It’s best for his job.  I think it will be a great adventure, but I know it’s hard for her to leave here.  I hope I always support my husband the way she has.  (Don’t worry, mom and dad, he’s not taking me to a middle eastern country.  They don’t have much use for a sports radio host.)

:: I think I might have gone too far with handprint art.  But I kind of think this is cute. And what a great way to get the kids into Holy Week.

While at the park, Snax wore his Darth Vadar costume.  This is nothing new.  Last week he wore Buzz Lightyear to lunch.  Today, he was a doctor.

I heard a kid ask his dad “why is that boy dressed like that?”

The only answer: because he can, that’s why.  I am not sure that any of my kids are as cool as this one.

Snax, he was just dancing at the park.  It’s what he does.

A new park brings out smiles on everyone’s face in this family.  I love that we have new equipment so close to our home.  We have new tennis courts and a nice trail surrounding the area.  I  think we’ll be spending a lot of time here.

Sweet girl, I started this post the night before you turned 2.  It has taken me far too long to finish.  It’s partly that we’re just living and partly that I’m a bit sad at you growing up.  Here’s goes…

Tonight was the last time I will hold my own 1 year old in my arms.  I just held you tightly in my arms.  I can’t imagine a time without you in our family, and yet, I can’t believe you are turning two.

You literally change on a daily basis.  I love every single change.  And at the same time, I am clinging to the idea of the baby you no longer are.

The truth, babies are easy to me.  I relish in babyhood.  I’ve been pretty lucky in that I never had the struggles that other moms have with babies, I have good sleepers and eaters.  (You were no different than your brothers at that age.)  I struggle, just not with that.  So I miss that phase.

And yet, watching you grow is pretty cool.  Each day you speak a new word.  Just today while visiting your great grandmother, you looked at a picture of your cousin and said “drea” for Andrea.  You’ve never done this before and you kept showing me the picture.

You are truly your mother’s daughter.  You can’t stand mess and things have to be in order.  You don’t like doors left open and jump to help clean.  Sometimes you pick up a speck of dirt from the floor and bring it to me as if to say, “what is this mess on the floor.”

You are so sweet, so caring, you already have a mothering instinct.  The second someone cries, you run over to them and pat their back and give them a hug.  How is that possible?  Even your pediatrician was impressed.  The other day, Baby Hulk was in trouble and sent to his room.  He screamed all the way to his room, and you wouldn’t calm down until you could go and console him.  If I have one wish for you, it’s that you keep that same spirit.  Nothing would make me more proud.

Sweet girl, you say “Amen” loudly and you know you’re doing something right.  You are so excited as you say this.  You also make the sign of the cross.  So deliberate.  The thought brings the widest grin to my face.  Now if you would sit still during mass, it might make Sunday mornings more tolerable.

You already share a special bond with each of your brothers.  To listen to Snax talk to you is a riot.  He really does care for you so much.  Baby Hulk still loves you as much as he did the day you were born.  Sometimes, I catch him reading to you or showing you toys.  Goose and you have your own special time as well.  He always wants to get you out of the car, and he makes sure you call him by your nickname for him, “gaga”, which in writing sounds really dumb, but seriously, you call him that even though you can say his name.  Then there is Squirt who you con into letting you listen to music in his room.  You have found your way into each of their hearts.  I can guarantee they will always protect you.

You have taken to Snoopy just like the boys.  You found some pj’s I had stashed away last fall and made your dad put them on you.  You then proudly walked around the house saying “Snoops”.  You point to him on your chest to make sure we see what you’re wearing.

You are also just like the boys with how much attention you want from me.  If you want your time and one of them gets near, you shout, “moves”.  We must work on that grammar, but for now, it’s hilarious to watch you push them away and see you pout when they don’t move.  And really, the added S is pretty cute also.

And speaking of clothes…I am not sure if I should start to worry or not because you definitely have your own opinions about what you want to wear.  You love to feel pretty and walk around letting us know just how pretty you are.  You are so sure of your choice in clothing that I have had to return two outfits I thought were amazing.  You have literally cried over my refusal to let you wear certain outfits.  How did this happen?  Thankfully, your select shoppers seem to make you happy with what they buy for you.

You literally light up a room when you walk into it, most of the time.  You do have your dark cloud moments, but we all do.

Sweet girl, I have so many dreams for you.  Mostly, I want you to remain a happy girl that always shows compassion.  The world could sure use a lot more of that and I’m hopeful knowing that you will help change it with the compassion you show others.

May God continue to bless your life.  I have entrusted you to Him and Mary and the Saints.  I pray that you always fight for what you want, that you stay as determined as you are and that you are confident in all you do.  I thank God every day for trusting me with you.  You were born into a family full of love.  Not a perfect one, but one that loves fiercely.  I love you, my sweet girl, and I always will.

One last thing…when we go to daily mass, we walk past a mosaic of Our Lady.  You shout “Mary” over and over at the top of your lungs.  I love it.  And so do all the grandparents in mass.  They don’t see a lot of littles in daily mass.  I truly think you bring a little light to their day when you scream “Mary”.

PS…I really had written 95% of this post the night before your birthday…XOXO

Each of the boys is completing a narration of today’s events, and I want in on the action.  I want to remember.

Seriously!!!  We have a POPE!!!  How I pray that my kids understand the importance of today.  I know that when John Paul II was elected, I didn’t realize how important it was. Lance, who wasn’t even attending mass at that time remembers the white smoke from that election.  You could say I am a bit jealous.  I love JPII, and he wasn’t even a practicing Catholic until he met me and he remembers…But I digress…

Habemus Papem!!!

We have a pope!

Francis!!!!

A great start, I think.

Seriously, Francis?  Could he have chosen someone better for his papal name?  I’ve said before that Saint Francis is beloved by many, he’s the saint that loved animals.  But oh so much more, so, so much more…He loved the helpless, the poor, he loved people…he did so much to help those in need, he is the example of “whenever you helped one in need, you helped me”.  (You know what I’m talking about there, right?  I don’t have to quote from the Bible accurately at 2:30 in the morning.)  Has anyone seen the picture of Pope Francis kissing the feet of a patient?  Humbling.

I am happy, blissful.  Someone sent me a text saying that they knew today was a huge day for me and that they hoped I was pleased with the results.  It’s interesting, I am extremely opinionated on most things, but not with the church.  I said on my last post, I trust in the Holy Spirit.  And I do.  I trust in the Chair of Peter which has continued for 266 Popes.

And because of that trust, I didn’t do any research on the Cardinals who might fill the chair.  Why bother?  This isn’t American politics.  There is no need for the hatred and vitriol that fills the air in this country.  It’s tiresome, regardless of what your politics are.  Besides, I don’t have a vote.  I’m Catholic.  Period.  End of discussion.

One of the common misunderstandings about the pope and Catholicism is that a new one will be elected and all of a sudden things are going to change.  It just doesn’t happen that way.  The Catholic church hasn’t changed at all.  Other religions have.  This one doesn’t.

Back to being happy…

Earlier today, I informed the kids that there had been three votes resulting in black smoke.  This was on the way to the zoo in New Orleans.  I admit I followed PapalSmokeStack on twitter.  While checking I saw it…White smoke…then the text messages started coming.

We were crossing the bridge leading us out of “South America”, (fitting I think as I type this!), and I turned and ran to the kids.  “Habemus Papem”, I shouted over and over.  I pulled all of use together to pray for our new Holy Father.  And that we did, at the edge of the bridge at Audubon Zoo in New Orleans.  We prayed for the pope who had not yet been introduced to us.

And then, we ran to the car.  I knew the Holy Father would go to adoration first, but I didn’t want to miss a second.  And we sat and sat.  And then, the announcement was made.  Watching on EWTN was nice, but they didn’t have translators set up immediately.  So it took a few minutes to realize who they said and that Francis was his name.

And then we sat some more.  And finally…

There he was…our new Holy Father, Pope Francis.  I held Snax’s hand while he spoke and I just liked him.  I did.  And when he asked us to pray for him, I smiled, I love, love, love when priests ask me to pray for them.  And then we were blessed.

Sharing this was pretty overwhelming, and I even had a tear in my eye.

But the best part…I think was all my Catholic friends texting about this.  Not with gossip, but with “Amens” and Habemus Papems”!  Truly, we are a universal church, a communion of Saints…and today, I felt the meaning of being part of that communion of Saints.  A truly wonderful gift.

Seriously, does it get better than this?

Today, we visited the Basilica in Mobile, a beautiful church.  I was the last one in the church and walked in and found the kids praying.  Should I have joined them?  Probably yes, but I have been wanting this image forever.  Sunshine kneels each time she enters the pew and during the consecration.  She is imitating the boys, and it is so freaking adorable.  Of course, I can’t whip out a camera during mass, but today…we were visiting and clearly, I felt it acceptable.

The church was truly wonderful and had a small chapel in the basement which reminded me of Cathedrals in Europe.  I shared a story with Goose about attending mass in the lower chapel of the Basilica of St. Francis in Assisi.  One of the most amazing experiences for me, I was waiting for daily mass to start and monks came in chanting.  It was so mesmerizing.  Often, I tell stories and Goose responds with “cool”, a clear indication he doesn’t care. This time, he told me how happy he was that I shared the story with him.

After taking the photo, i joined the kids in prayer.  I reminded them that the conclave starts tomorrow.  We talked about all the Cardinals being at the Vatican.  Then we prayed.

I’ve stayed away from reading about the impending election for various reasons, but mainly because nothing good comes from speculation.  (I love the fact that the ballots are always burned so we can’t study how the Cardinals vote.)

I trust that despite the failings of humans, the Holy Spirit will prevail.

Come, Holy Spirit, lead the Cardinals and most importantly, lead our next Holy Father.

It’s been a long week.  The kids, how shall I say it?  Have been totally obnoxious all week.  And that’s a nice way of putting it.  We had our follow up at the lice place and everyone is in the clear.  Indeed, great news.  But not enough to really make my week.  I still had to spend time there, and quite frankly, I still live in fear this crap isn’t gone for real.  Dramatic?  Yes, but live with six other people, four of whom like to have a slumber party in your bed on a regular basis and you can understand my fear.

The other day at lunch, my mom commented, “you can hear your kids all across the restaurant”.  It was a small place, but that is my new reality.  Sunshine is a screamer when she isn’t eating and it’s quite obnoxious.  Honestly, she has become a bully about food.  Snax talks as loud as his father does in regular conversation so we create quite the scene.

Then there is the pouting and crying, the disrespect when they don’t like dinner and loud praying…oh and three tests plus spelling and dictation for Goose, and high school report cards…it’s been a very. long. week.

The sweet from the week….I didn’t know how many I’d find, but indeed there are good things to share.

:: Sunshine loves playing tea party.  I can’t explain how cute it is, and the pictures just won’t do it justice, (plus, I don’t have any right now) but it is adorable.  She is ALL. GIRL.  Watching her and Chelsea play tea party the other night is something I don’t think I will forget.  Ever.

:: Snax had a really bad morning, screaming at Goose at breakfast which results in immediate removal from the table, (this after BH was screaming and pouting).  I was already in a bad mood before I had backed out of the garage.  Then all of a sudden, Snax starts talking about his birthday, his new favorite topic.  And he says, “First, I want to go to church because you need to say hi to God on your birthday, and then I want to go to Chuck E Cheese.”  I promise you right this second, Snax, this will happen on your birthday.  I will spend hours at Chuck E Cheese because of this statement.  Of course, Snax being Snax, he will probably opt out of church by this summer.

:: Speaking of mass…we always hit the Thursday morning mass at St. Michael’s.  Usually Monsignor is the celebrant.  He wasn’t there yesterday.  Snax’s advice?  Cover your ears.

:: Friday noon mass is our other weekday mass.  I planned to go, but after a two hour workout, (which totally improved my mood,) I had to first feed Sunshine so she could nap.  I found myself rushing just to get to mass in time for communion.  I stopped myself.  I am so tired of rushing everywhere, even things that matter like mass.  It’s okay if I miss daily mass.  Instead of rushing, I took my time getting ready and opted for a pedicure.  I took along my do it yourself retreat and finally had some “me” time.  New toenails and spiritual renewal, I’m pretty happy and inspired by this book thus far, I will definitely finish this before Easter.  This was the push I needed.

:: Senior skip day was today.  Squirt asked if I went to my Senior Skip Day.  Um, yes.  And I can’t tell you the fun I had that day.  I have the best pictures to prove it.  I told him I would show him the pictures when he was older.  Although, I didn’t drink that day, I was driving.  I have such fun memories.  And the person I spent the most time with that day was Paul, the friend who has been there for me since we were juniors.  I honestly can’t imagine not knowing him.  I am so grateful that Lance became friends with him as well.  Senior Skip Day is just one of the many amazing days with him.  It’s been too long since we’ve seen each other, but soon, it will happen.

Truly have a blast with each other.  And that makes me feel so blessed.  I am definitely not ready to be the mom with just one kid during the day, and I don’t think these two want that either.