Joan asked how my new attitude is going so far. I can honestly admit that yesterday was the first “good” day. What can I say, I’m a work in progress! I don’t mean that to sound flip because I understand how my behavior has adversely affected our family. BUT, I don’t take responsibility for Lance’s behavior on air earlier this week. He was pissed all on his own about the Astros.

I admit that I started to get really upset inside because once again Goose was missing his reading time, but I pretty much held it in and decided that he will have to read every day as soon as he comes home from school. That is just the way it is until someone makes more hours in the day. I won’t give up reading with him and don’t feel like I should have to, esp. since he STILL hasn’t started reading at school yet. I know, I know, that was a bit negative, but really how many weeks have to pass by before he gets into a reading group???

• swim lessons
• waiting for our new china cabinet to arrive on Thursday!!!
• confession, boy do I need it
• Bible study with the mom’s group

A picture thought I am sharing…

My husband just reminded me that I haven’t posted in a week and then informed me that I should be posting at least three times a week. He sounds like his editor at the Chronicle.

When someone says that you are a “living nightmare”, do you take that as a compliment? Yes, that comment was directed at me tonight. Have I forgiven my husband yet? I’m playing nice, I suppose. He says I am now being scary nice.

In Lance’s defense, I have been a bit difficult to live with lately. I have been so upset about Goose being in school, I have become a different person. I’ve always yelled, but I will admit I am out of control these days. Even Squirt is giving his opinion about homeschooling versus regular school. I think he hopes I’ll shut up if Goose comes home. (Plus, he always loved hearing about what we did in school last year.)

I have been so manic that I skipped daily Mass twice last week because I decided that I would gain nothing from it. Really? Who thinks like that? Who refuses the one place they know they can be healed? Disgusted with myself, I went to my former spiritual guide for help. She is such a wise person and listened to all my negativity about school. She was kind and gentle, but gave me good counsel that I hope to implement. The problem with me is that I have good intentions then something small happens and I lose it.

Today was a perfect example of my human nature. It was a great day, then all of a sudden I started to feel the day slipping by and I hadn’t read with Goose yet. I started feeling frantic and then just freaked out. Squirt couldn’t get out the door fast enough for CCE. The others were begging to go too.

I finally calmed down and read four chapters with Goose just like we used to do together every day: he reads two chapters, I read two chapters. I was happy, I calmed down and apologized and am fine. Until next time.

My goal for this week is to not give my husband a reason to say I am a nightmare! Although one hopes that he keeps it to himself if he feels that way again…

I promise to be positive about school and work with my children so that they get the most out of their educational environments. I owe it to my children and most of all, Lance to give this a try. I know that Lance wants the best for our children. I trust his judgement and hate that I am making him feel like I don’t trust him or that I know best. He loves and cares for our children as much as I do. I have to stop acting like he doesn’t. I will fail, but I am praying nonstop that my failures become smaller each day.

• celebrate Baby Hulk’s birthday
• spend the day with my best friend
• mom’s group at church

A picture thought I am sharing…

It seems the golden one was so upset about not having Lucky Charms that he broke the window in his room. I kept hearing a tapping sound while I was working. Finally, he called and told me that he was ready to come out. When I went into his room, he told me that there had been an accident involving his golf club and the window. The accident being that he got mad and broke it.

Who out there thinks this kid will get Lucky Charms ever again?

For Today: September 8, 2009

Outside my window…It is raining. It is still hot though and will be until November.

I am thinking…that I need to be a better wife and mom.

I am thankful…for the long weekend. I loved relaxing with my family and getting extra time with the school kids.

From the kitchen…this should be a good week. We have a menu planned and have stocked the refrigerator with the necessary items for a great week of meals. NO eating out until Saturday.

Living the Liturgical Year at home…Today is the Nativity of our Lady. We’ll be celebrating this on Thursday with a Super Saints birthday party for Our Lady. A friend and I went over the church calendar and have some great ideas for the next month. The kids were happy to hear that Super Saints was starting this week. CCE starts for Squirt this week. I am praying for a great teacher for him so he can learn both at home and with his peers at church.

I am creating…more plans for Super Saints. There are so many awesome Saints celebrating their feast days this Fall. What I want more than anything is for my children to realize that they can become Saints and that these Saints are their friends and watching over them.

I am listening to…Goose throw a fit because I won’t let him have Lucky Charms for a snack. He already had a huge piece of pumpkin bread and is pissy over my refusal to give in to his whims.

To be fit and happy… I have finally changed up my workout routine. I love bodypump, but I am loving my new cardio even more: bodystep and body combat. Now if I can just see some results!

I am wearing… my workout clothes. I don’t know how the day escapes from me. It seems we run from one place to another before I have a chance to change.

I am hoping…that is doesn’t rain this Saturday for Baby Hulk’s party.

One of my favorite things… Anvil. I love this place and could spend quite a bit of money here!

A few plans for the week…

• last night, we went to Warehouse Live and saw the Dandy Warhols.
• swim lessons every day for Baby Hulk. He is doing such a great job!
• Super Saints
• Baby Hulk’s birthday party
• haircuts for the boys..all four of them!

On keeping home… Lots of cleaning this week-before and after. We have kids coming over on Saturday so I don’t want to clean too much! Sunday will be the real cleaning day for me.

A picture thought I am sharing…

This kid cracks me up. Today we were driving, and he asked me to roll down the window so that he could throw away his lollipop stick. I explained that that would be littering and how we don’t litter because we want to keep the Earth clean. He told me, “No, we don’t. Please roll down the window.” At least he said please.

Last week he told me that his babysitter, not Jessica, couldn’t come over anymore because he didn’t like her. This was after he told her “it’s time to leave.” He also told me that she needed to go to the Principal’s office.

But the best quote was after Goose started school. He told Lance that he was never leaving home because he didn’t want to make me sad.

I love this kid!

Am I feeling any better about Goose and school? To be truthful, not one bit. I can’t get over this “Day of the Week” thing. They spent an entire week on the days of the week! They even made a book about the days of the week. Once Goose told me that they were working on a book, I was starting to feel a bit better about the whole thing because I started thinking of what I would do for this project with him. Until today when he brought the book home. The day was typed on a piece of paper, and the kids drew a picture on each page. That’s it! I won’t be saving this book as a reminder of his first week of school. In fact, nothing that he brought home is worth saving, not even for a scrapbook. I still have no clue what they are doing with my son for 7 1/2 hours each day. NO FREAKING CLUE.

I managed to talk to the teacher for a bit, and all I got out of her was that he has been assessed. He knows all his sight words; already knew that. It does sound like most of the kids are reading and that makes me happy. I would rather Goose be playing catch up, which I don’t think will happen, than for him to be the smartest kid around.

I know this is only the first week of school, but I hate it and can’t help but feeling he would be better off at home. Plus, I wouldn’t have to go through a bunch of trash paperwork every day. I hate clutter and all this paperwork is just another reason to add to the list against school.

Working Out
Drinking
Reading
Being Mad
Playing Soccer with Baby Hulk
and missing my Goose.

Was it worth it? Well, I wasted a bottle of good wine on being sad. I come from a long line of grudge holders, so being mad at people seems normal to me. I finished a good book and had a great workout at the gym and with the Hulk. When I went to pick up Goose, I asked him what he learned today. He told me the Days of the Week. Are you kidding? My two year old knows the days of the week. I kept badgering him to tell me something he learned and he said some song in French. It can only get better, right?