Goose is out of control. Every morning he gets up and watches the shortcuts, an NFL game in less than 30 minutes, that Lance has recorded from the previous week and then Sports Center. The kids can tell us scores from games, players from different teams…basically he is my husband and brother, but only six. Lance says he wasn’t this interested at Goose’s age. I must admit I am super proud of him.

And it’s not just football.

He scrolls though all the channels looking for both football and basketball games, shouting who will be playing and when. (In fact, he can now work the remote better than me.) He got mad at Lance this morning because we don’t subscribe to a channel that had a replay of Auburn versus South Carolina.

The only problem with this obsession: I have caught him watching women’s Big 10 basketball twice in the past week. This is taking things a bit too far.

I love Star Wars. The original three. I can even handle the Ewoks. Empire Strikes Back is a movie I can watch over and over again. The news that Empire Strikes Back is going into the National Film Registry made me happy.

It also reminded me of all the Star Wars Ornaments I have in the attic. Long ago in another lifetime, I dated a guy who loved Star Wars. In fact, Lance is the only person I ever dated that didn’t like Star Wars at all. We used to decorate a tree and bought Star Wars ornaments every year. When Lance and I got married, he saw them and decided they weren’t going on his tree. He didn’t see the correlation between Darth Vadar and Christmas. After we had been married a year, I got an email from the old boyfriend asking about the ornaments. He wanted some of them since he had purchased some of them. To be clear, they were gifts to me, and not really something that you would split after a breakup. It’s not like we lived together and purchased the stuff together. I couldn’t believe he had the nerve to ask for the ornaments. I thought it slightly petty and ignored his email after telling everyone about it. Years later, I wish I knew where he was so I could get rid of the box of ornaments taking up space in my attic.

Have I mentioned that Goose is a total trash talker? Chelsea came over earlier in the week and was wearing a Bama shirt. Goose immediately smirked about it to the Baby Hulk. Within hearing distance. She told him that she could hear him, but he didn’t care.

On Christmas Eve at the 1560 party, Chelsea told Goose that the hoodie below was a Bama hoodie because of the design. Christmas morning, he received two Longhorn hoodies and immediately let us know that the Bama hoodie needed to go to the donation pile. There would be no chance of anyone else wearing such an offensive jacket.

While this time of year is a bit busier for us with a newborn, we managed to keep most of our traditions, just on a smaller scale. My mom even let us borrow a Charlie Brown type Christmas tree, which all four boys HATED. It’s not that Lance and I loved it, but I am more than happy that I don’t have much work dealing with a tree this year.

Despite my plans to bake before Baby Z arrived, it didn’t happen. So last week, I spent a day and a half power baking for family and our butcher. We didn’t bake as much as normal, but we did have five kinds of cookies plus bread.

1560 party…yes, I went and took ALL. OF. MY. KIDS. Chelsea came into town to drive us out there. I think she has a future as a nanny, but she seems committed to finishing school at Bama. I love this party, Chelsea had never been before and was surprised at the amount of people there. It’s hard to explain, but it’s something that listeners really enjoy being a part of. Everyone was super nice and excited about the baby. And I got to meet Jill in person, someone I met through the blog, that I feel like I know really well! The only thing missing from the party was Ragin Bull Tailgaters.

The kids were finally able to check out some lights on Christmas Eve. I don’t know why they love it so much, but they do. Despite all the tackiness out there, nothing says Christmas time more than outdoor lights.

Lance offered Squirt the chance to eat at Trulucks alone. I thought it would be nice, just the two of them having a nice meal alone. Squirt would have none of that. He wanted to pick up the food and bring it home so the entire family could eat together. There are so many times that I wonder if we have this parenting thing down, ESPECIALLY now that we have a teenager, but this is proof that we are doing something right. It must be. Now to remember this the next time I get pissed off! Of course, he did walk to the dining room table in a sleeveless shirt, and when I asked him to change, he put on a white undershirt instead. He finally got it right on the third try.

The boys, even Squirt, had some sort of X-mas pj’s. The Baby Hulk picked out Baby Z’s pj’s, which were not my favorite, but turned out to be the only thing that fit. And while Lance grumbled the entire time, he managed to get some great pictures of my kids!

This is it as far as the nativity scenes I set out this year.

First thing Christmas morning, the boys placed baby Jesus in the nativity scene!

One of my all time favorite nativities…there is a larger version that could go on a table, but I have nowhere to put it.

We went to Mass before opening gifts, and the boys were so good again. It is so awesome to me that they can see all their presents sitting under the tree and not fuss about having to wait. They are very normal kids, they love presents, but on this day, they amaze me with their willingness to wait and worship before opening a single thing. And this year my parents went more overboard than usual, but as my mom said there weren’t any gifts she regretted or wanted to save for a later date. The kids have been playing nonstop with their new loot, so while they may be on overload, I am happy to report that both the kids and I are satisfied with their choices. Now for time to sit with my new MAC.

Merry Christmas!

Our first family photo taken on the 23rd. What a glorious thing to celebrate, the birth of a baby. And while we are so overjoyed with our newest child, we are more overwhelmed when we think of the love of our Father. The Father who sent his Son for us. When we think of Christmas, we don’t always think past the birth of a beautiful baby. It’s easy, babies are so sweet and delicate. But this child was so much more. He was our Saviour who sacrificed all for us. What a humbling thought. May everyone have a blessed Christmas and look upon the Child whose birth we celebrate with adoration and thanksgiving. Merry Christmas from the Zierlein Family.

Disclaimer: This post is of no interest to men. I promise. And I warned you.

When it comes to my weight, I’m vain. I admit it. With the normal size of my chest, I’ve always had to be skinnier because my chest made me look bigger than I really am. I’ve always been one of those “I just need to lose five pounds” kind of girls. Then I became that women, then I hit my 30’s, and I loved my body. It was a perfect size for me. Then I got pregnant and gained over 60 pounds. I lost the weight, but wasn’t where I wanted to be. So then I got pregnant with the Baby Hulk and decided I would try and pump breastmilk to lose weight. The fact that it helped my NICU baby at the time was a bonus. But really, it was a pain and the only reason I continued was the rapid weight loss I experienced. And when I had No David, it was the same way. I could eat whatever I wanted, pump a ridiculous amount of milk, dump whatever milk might be tainted with alcohol and be skinny and have food for my baby.

I don’t particularly enjoy pumping milk, but I could never bring myself to actually breastfeed despite all of my friends doing it and loving it. Live with this chest your whole life and see if you want a baby hanging on it for even one second. So vain me pumped so much milk that I lost a ton of weight, could workout and keep it off and eat whatever I wanted. I assumed it would be this way again.

What a bad assumption. And here is the annoying part of me…it’s day four and despite giving birth to a seven pound baby, a placenta and starting to pump, I’ve lost five pounds. WTH? Yes, I am already stressed and Lance had the nerve to say it was because I ate a bunch of cupcakes at the hospital. So not the thing to tell me. Then he said I should eat like he does for QWL, and I would see results. (Not that he was saying I wasn’t losing weight fast enough, he just didn’t want to hear me complain.)

I am pumping and engorged. I’ve pumped two days and am not making a dent. Did turning 40 really make the difference in milk supply and weight loss? Okay, it’s only day four, but still….I am more than frustrated right now. To make matters worse, I am now having to call the creepy lactation consultants for help. Here’s a thought to make more women want to breastfeed, (because despite the fact that everyone I know does it, the overall numbers are super low), find consultants that aren’t creepy. Is it a job requirement to be a creepy 50 to 60 year old woman? I have searched for answers online to no avail and if things don’t get better in a few days, because right now the pain level from being engorged makes me feel nothing from my C-section, I will be calling them for help.

I am waiting for any sign that things are going to be normal as far as recovery goes…night sweats- I have none, milk- it would appear I have nothing but boobs bigger than your worst national geographic image, at least 12 pounds weight loss in week one? Anything would be nice.

So maybe I’m freaking out a bit early, but like I said I am super vain about weight. Plus, my chest really needs some relief in the form of milk release! So I am now praying asking for relief. I would have never predicted that prayer would come from my lips!

Quite honestly, I didn’t think we’d make it to five. On March 17, 2010, when we should have been celebrating St. Patrick’s Day, we were having another miscarriage. Our fifth. And I was done. Over it. I was over having babies in heaven. I could see no grace in it any longer. Lance, who has always been more emotional than me, was done after finally seeing me show some emotion. Then as we were getting ready to leave for Chicago for Brian’s graduation, we wondered if we were pregnant again. Just in case, I didn’t take my usual Xanax and when we came home we found out that we were indeed pregnant. I wondered how Lance would take the news, but I shouldn’t have worried. He was happier than I could have imagined.
This pregnancy has gone by so fast. It was uneventful, until we had that one ultrasound saying we were having a girl. One ultrasound was all they gave us. I didn’t buy anything for fear it was wrong, but when I didn’t have my usual fast food cravings, I knew it must be right. And on Friday at 12:37 pm, we saw her beautiful face.

This pregnancy has been so blessedly uneventful. It didn’t seem like I was pregnant very long. And now we have this sweet little girl in our midst. The boys are all so excited. Even Goose who shows even less emotion than me was so overwhelmed to have a baby sister. He was the first one to see her because the Baby Hulk stepped aside and allowed his big brother to go in first despite me wanting it the other way around. I won’t forget the love in Goose’s eyes or how he crawled into bed with me because he was worried about me. The wonder of No David at this new baby. And biggest brother Squirt not wanting anyone else to hold his sister just like with No David. And sweet Baby Hulk was in love. He can’t get enough of his sister. He really is my sweetest boy.

And my two special girls were there too. Both so excited and posting pics on FB to celebrate this special day. (Just think, one day I’ll be visiting them in the hospital!) I would have been excited regardless of anyone else, but to see the love in my recovery room, just a bit over the two person limit, was overwhelming!

Then came my parents, my friend Stacy and brother. All within two hours of this little angel’s life. Once we moved to the room, Lance’s family came to see the newest Zierlein. Lastly, Cindy and Terese who always come as soon as possible were there. Today, I called a friend who hadn’t responded to my text message on Friday because she never received it. She started crying at the news. I love the emotion a baby can bring out in people. This little girl has everyone’s attention and she is less than two days old. It is so sweet to see my in-laws for the first time with a newborn and to see my parents go ga-ga again over a baby.

I know just how the Baby Hulk feels. I don’t want to let this little baby out of my arms. We are so grateful to have her in our life. She really is our Christmas gift. And every time the boys bring up the damn tree, I’m going to point at her!

So…I’m having a baby in about twelve hours. And I’m still up. I actually waited to eat until now so I’m not starving all morning. We’ll see if this plan works for me. If not, I will daydream about Miller’s Cafe for dinner tomorrow during the section. Thank God I have a doctor who allows me to eat the same day of surgery.

I’ve been manic all day long. I guess a bit nervous about tomorrow. It’s not like we haven’t done this before now. And really, c-sections are nothing for me. I know anything could happen, but I’m counting on another smooth recovery. Do I really have any other choice? It’s the week before Christmas, and I have four other kids who need me home.

I’ve been thinking about leaving four and moving onto five. Lance came home from the station today freaking out. Are we really prepared for five kids? It seems like we have a full plate now, how will this one affect our family harmony or lack thereof at times? Will our children remain happy with another one in the house? It’s not like we can do anything now, but I understand his stress. We just show it in different ways. He wants to spend time together, I want to clean the entire house that I just cleaned on Saturday. (Although really, it is almost time to clean again.)

I can’t really answer if we’re ready. But I can answer that this child will come into a house full of love. Two parents who truly love each other and their kids with their entire being. I trust that God gave me the best man to share in this awesome responsibility. I trust that while we make mistakes, we learn from them and do better each day. I am glad that Lance isn’t content with the way things are for our family. He constantly wants us to strive to be better. With God’s grace, I know we can be the best parents for our kids, including number five. I am so thankful for this pregnancy and the excitement of tomorrow. I have loved being pregnant and feeling this little child grow inside me. It’s a feeling I never want to forget, yet I know I will because things just get better once she arrives. I can’t wait to see the Baby Hulk tomorrow. Both he and Squirt are so excited about this baby. Both sets of grandparents will be here tomorrow, a first for us! And we have two special girls making an appearance tomorrow. This baby is already so blessed with the abundance of love surrounding her.

We’ll post pictures tomorrow, assuming I can figure out how to use my NEW MAC LAPTOP. Thanks Daddy! (Oh God…is this how my daughter is going to be???) Prayers welcome.

Now that I know everyone agrees we need a fake-prelit tree, can someone come over here and explain this to my kids? Don’t feel too guilty when they start talking about tradition either.

I am one of those people that sweats the small stuff. This morning, I woke up and immediately noticed that the trash was still inside despite multiple reminders from me last night about trash day. While I know that I shouldn’t get annoyed about the trash, I can easily justify my feelings. It becomes another thing for me to do in the rush to get out the door in the morning. I can’t leave it until later because the trash never comes at the same time each week.

Last night, I promised I wouldn’t let anything bother me today. It gets tiring letting every little thing bother me. For me and my family. Today, Lance and I had planned the perfect date. One last day for the two of us before we become a family of seven. I read something about not letting anyone steal your joy. I like how it sounds. Nothing earth shattering, basically you can’t control anyone but yourself. I know this, but still I lose my cool. Way too often. So now we’re trying this tactic. I will remain joyful despite the teenager who overslept this morning. Despite the four year old who takes 13 minutes to get dressed every morning. It kind of worked, I still got a bit mad when I had to trek Goose all the way to class so he wouldn’t be late because of the two slugs this morning.

When the kids screamed at the babysitter for ten minutes straight, I ignored it. I felt bad with them clawing all over me, but I was singing to myself “you’re not going to steal my joy”. It might be a fault of mine, but I knew the second I opened my mouth, I would lose it. I don’t mind crying, but fussy, whiny screams via the Baby Hulk drive me insane. I can try to be comforting, but the kids only go into overdrive. I might look like a cold hearted mother, but in this situation, nothing works for them. They do this crap to my mom half the time, it’s just how they act with a babysitter.

I left for my perfect date with Lance happy because I didn’t lose it. I felt bad for the boys being upset, but knew they were in good hands and that Lance and I really needed this time alone. We take more solo trips than most people, but other than that, we don’t do a lot without the kids mostly due to me. Both Lance and I needed time to talk without kids around and prepare ourselves for this Friday. And the date was even better because we didn’t have to talk about how sorry we were for losing our cool.

Later when Goose refused to work on his project assigned last Friday and due tomorrow, I didn’t get upset. It would appear his public speaking skills are like mine in that they stink. It would also appear that he should have started working on this over the weekend. But I didn’t get mad at him or Lance (who was in charge of the project). It’s not my grade, so I chose not to let my joy be stolen.

Lance has been calling the kids “joy thieves” all day. He’s mostly kidding. I am hoping that I stay resolved on not letting anyone steal my joy. I know I’ll be much happier as will my family.