Of all the seasons of the church, Lent is my favorite.  A time to give up and feel good about yourself for not eating chocolate, cheese, sodas or alcohol for forty days.  I used to think if I could just make it until Easter morning, I finished the race. In good time, no less.

Now it’s much more.

Somewhere along the way, I finally realized that the sacrifice required during Lent was more about becoming closer to Christ and not just being a martyr because I gave up Dr Peppers.  (Although really, that was huge!)  It’s about uniting with Him, knowing that my sacrifice is so very small compared to His for me.  It’s about the love I have to show Him in all that I do.

Lent is late this year, and you’d think I was ready weeks ago, but it didn’t work out that way.  We just finished our Lenten Calendar with everyone but Baby Z participating.  We’ve taken one last look at the Alleluia, before putting it away until Easter Sunday.  The Lent Basket is full of books.  And everyone has publicly announced their sacrifices, no changing their minds now.  We had a monkey bread king cake.  I think I need to give up sweets because clearly self control is something I need to work on this Lent.

Today at mass Monsignor asked us to look beyond the criticisms we have of others and see the good that we are missing from them and to likewise look at ourselves and see what else we could be doing.  I’ve actually been working on that so I think I’ll continue along that path.  That and not being such a witch at home.

Lance asked Goose what he loved most and to give that up for Lent.  Am I the most horrible Catholic because I told Goose he didn’t need to give up Big Snoopy for Lent?  I just couldn’t watch him do it.  It would seem I need a lesson in detachment as well as sacrifice.  What a brave boy I have though.  While I refused to allow it, I am impressed with his passion.  Instead he gave up Nacho Cheese Chips (HEB brand), and I’m wondering if he is going to consider Doritos the same thing or not.

Squirt gave up chocolate for which I am very proud because this morning he told me it would be too hard to give up chocolate, and I bit my tongue at my disappointment thinking him old enough to decide for himself.  Amazing what happens when I hold my mouth.

In typical fashion for a four year old, The Baby Hulk gave up something he never plays with so with a bit of an explanation, he decided on all fruit chew type snacks.

No David is still working on his list.

And we’re hoping that Baby Z is giving up her nighttime feedings.

As for me, I’m keeping it private.  I don’t want to be one of those people who constantly talks about how hard their Lent is because they gave up drinking or the like.  My true wish is to grow in virtue, especially the virtue of patience, and to grow closer to Christ while I walk with him.

I do have one question: do I tell the kids that they are allowed to have mini Easters every Sunday or not?  My parents never told me, although I am convinced they didn’t know.  I just don’t think I am going to share that secret with them yet either.

You aren’t 20 anymore. In fact, you are 40 and have five kids. You can’t stay out until after 1 am and expect to function the next day. I’d like to to thank Danny for the awesome champagne, the Old 97’s for a show that lasted till 1 and Baby Z for waking up throughout the night. Then there is No David who decided we all needed to wake up at 6:20 this morning. I might be finally feeling my age.

Well, we finally broke down. After all the babies and storing excess breast milk in freezers all over the city of Houston, we purchased a freezer. Just what I always wanted…to spend $700 on a freezer after all our recent medical bills (right now totaling a mere $6000, and counting since we are still waiting on Squirt’s second surgery bill and doctor bill. Kids are expensive!)

While I know having a huge stand alone freezer is going to come in handy once the Baby Hulk and No David start really eating, I hated breaking down and buying the freezer right now. But it was a necessary purchase. I already have milk stored in my neighbor’s freezer and was about to start making the drive to Kingwood when both my parents informed me that they didn’t trust any of the three freezers I have used in the past to store milk.

So with our freezer on the fridge/freezer combo in the kitchen completely full by Saturday, Lance finally went to Conn’s. Then came the news that it would not arrive until Thursday. FABULOUS. Can you say pump and dump? Cause that’s exactly what I had to do every day. At least 30 ounces went down the drain every day starting Sunday.

And I didn’t even get to get drunk or take Xanax during this time because, well, I had to take care of five kids and being hungover just wouldn’t have worked. So I have dumped my milk from all week long. And I’m kind of sad about that.

I have now stored 38 bags of milk, which takes up the entire top shelf of new freezer. Once this freezer fills up, I’m selling my milk. YUP. That’s right. Not donating, selling. If I donate, they turn around and sell it, so why not me? Yes, I know the milk banks have to runs tests and such, but guess what? I have to pay for the pump, I have to pay to store it and it’s my freaking time and I have five kids to put through college. Wouldn’t that be awesome to actually pay for college by selling breast milk? I’ve checked it out…it sells for up to $3 per ounce. Of course, to make that money, I think you have to sell to the fetish guys who like breast milk. I talked to Lance, and we both agreed that if it comes down to selling excess milk, we have standards. We’re not selling to freaks.

I may have traded in my obsession for buying books for our children’s library to something completely different. Girl’s clothing. To be exact clothing sized 3 -6 months. I literally can’t stop myself. I went to the Galleria today with four kids just to pick up some tights and ended up with four more outfits. I just bought three outfits the other day. Then Stacy picked up something for me Saturday and bought four more herself. Then there was the shopping spree my dad went on two weeks ago.

I actually thought to myself, I hope Chelsea has a baby girl because I have all this clothing she can use. What??? Of every female in my life, why I decided Chelsea at 20 years old was the one who needed these adorable hand me downs is beyond me. So, no Chelsea, just wait and I’ll get you all new stuff. I promise.

To prove to myself that I’m not a clothes hound, I added three books to my Amazon cart. I need to go through my list before I order and make sure I don’t need anything else before Lent starts. That could be a disaster as well as an argument since Lance doesn’t like when I order books before big liturgical seasons. It doesn’t seem to work out for our checking account.

Lance and I had a blast meeting friends of 1560 at the Tasting Room last night. The station hosted an Oscar Party for six couples. The food was good, the company even better and the show, well, the company was awesome.













Double Rods

I’ve been complaining quite a bit about the Baby Hulk and his lack of drive lately. I know, it’s kind of pathetic and psycho momish for me to call my kid out on laziness already, but, that is me.

My goals for this year were relatively simple: learn to read, learn to write, some math concepts, religion and study science by going through the alphabet. Each week I’d have a theme with books, coloring sheets, food, a craft and possibly a short field trip. We wouldn’t go into anything heavy, and at times the topic didn’t have anything to do with science.

We made it to the letter M and faltered big time. The Baby Hulk has never enjoyed coloring, so I don’t make him color more than a coloring page a couple of times a week. We’ve been working successfully, or so I thought, with Handwriting Without Tears until recently. His reading was going so well, we were on long vowels, then he just gave up on that as well. Forget any of the cool books I checked out for our science studies.

N week was another disaster that was continued so we could get it right. Big mistake. I was almost in tears, ready to send him somewhere next year for preschool. I even handed him off to my dad last Saturday.

Not only was Baby Hulk not working for me, he had an attitude. He would roll his eyes at me whenever I asked him to do something. I thought I only had one teenager in the house.

Finally, we are back on track. Last week, we studied Oceans. We had a great week. And while his handwriting doesn’t seem to be improving, he worked so hard for me every day! He was excited to read again, do some graphing and color some pictures.



His reward was a trip to the Aquarium.

Tomorrow is the Oscars. I think I’m supposed to be in Chicago right now, not sure how those plans got screwed up. It’s okay, I see Paul and Brian in two weeks(!) and have plans to watch the show with online friends. Is that weird?

I remember one of my first dates with Lance was watching the Superbowl. I was terrified to speak because I heard him on the radio talking about how he hated Superbowl parties because of women who viewed them as a social event rather than a sporting event. I was so mute, he even made a comment. I’m sure he wishes I was still as silent at times. SO…the point being is that the Oscars are similar for us. We love movies and enjoy the Oscars quite a bit despite how freaking long it lasts. We want movie fans and minimal talk during the important times of the show.

Here are my predictions and favorites for the year. My personal vote is listed second.

Best Actor: Colin Firth, Ryan Gosling (Why wasn’t this guy nominated???)
Best Actress: Natalie Portman, Natalie Portman
Best Supporting Actor: Christian Bale, Geoffrey Rush
Best Supporting Actress: Melissa Leo, Melissa Leo
Best Director: David Fincher, Darren Aronofsky (I’ll be fine with a win for Fincher because he managed to make a movie about FB that was interesting and not a lot of directors could do that. Aronofsky deserves to win because he made a movie that nobody else could make, truly his vision.)
Original Screenplay: The King’s Speech, The Kids Are All Right
Adapted Screenplay: The Social Network, Toy Story 3
Original Score: Let’s just say I can’t wait to see Trent Reznor on stage.
Film Editing: The Social Network, The Social Network
Cinematography: True Grit, True Grit
Best Picture: The King’s Speech, Black Swan

Here is how I would rank the movies nominated for Best Picture:
Black Swan
The Fighter
Toy Story 3
True Grit
The Social Network
The King’s Speech
The Kids Are All Right
Inception
127 Hours
Winter’s Bone

The top four movies are all interchangeable for me depending on my mood.

While there are a couple of nominations that I scratched my head over, there is nothing to make me sick like last year. Well, except the omission of Ryan Gosling this year.

A few weeks ago, I mentioned that No David was starting to potty train on his own. He then decided on his own that he didn’t want to go further in that endeavor. Not one to push on potty training, I let it go.

Instead, I decided that he had to give up his pacifier. A reasonable exchange, I thought. I continue wiping your butt, you give up the paci the APA recommends giving up by 18 months, (I think.)

Yes, he’s 2 1/2. I tried to take the pacifier away when he was 18 months, and he cried so hard. And again at 2, and still he cried. I’ll admit after those two incidents I didn’t press it. Before he turned a year old, he was only using his pacifier at night anyway, so what was the big deal. And there wasn’t except if he wasn’t going to be potty trained, I felt like I needed something in return.

And did I ever get something. No David is ALL BOY. If there is a stereotype about boys, he fits it. He is so loving, but exhaustingly mischievous. He is the one I worry about breaking a bone, skipping school one day and wrecking the car. He’s just a mess, and I say that will all the love in my heart because he is a cute mess. And he is my mess.

And now he is a cranky mess. Ever since he lost the pacifier he has become angry. He refuses to take naps and bedtime is a disaster. He used to go to bed so easily, piling all his animals, giving me a kiss, putting the pacifier in his mouth and off to sleep he would go. Today, it’s a totally different story. First, he starts by saying “mommy” about ten times and nothing else. It’s enough to drive me insane. When I leave he starts to scream. And doesn’t stop. EVER.

It’s so bad now that I have begged him to take the pacifier back, but he refuses. He throws it at me while screaming how he doesn’t want the pacifier anymore.

If I had known my boy would have changed over losing the pacifier, I wouldn’t have been so greedy about making him give it up. It has been pointed out to me several times that I am the cause of this unhappiness and present madness in our home.

No David in happier times

Tuesday is a daily mass day for me and the under five crew. You never know how it’s going to turn out. While we haven’t had an incident where anyone has needed to pray for me lately, I do have to stop the chit chat of No David. Then there is the Baby Hulk who may or may not like the priest celebrating the mass.

Today was nearly perfect as far as mass goes with three young children. The baby didn’t make a peep, the Baby Hulk sat quietly beside me on the last row and No David wandered between the pew and the door without making a sound. Until I burped Baby Z…two people turned as I patted her on the back.

I was feeling good about myself, the day and full of love and then this lady informed me in Spanish that I should use the cry room during mass for the kids. Although I understood every word she said, I couldn’t answer her in Spanish. No problem, she told me the same shit in English.

Really???

Oh, the benefits of a cry room: you can hear the mass and your kids can run around the entire time. Just what a mom that goes to daily mass wants, children who don’t understand the importance of mass and don’t take it seriously. Have I used the cry room before? Yes, and had my children needed to be in there, I would have gone. As laid back as I like to think I am, I am hyper-sensitive about some things. I hate when my kids don’t share, talk too loud and so on. I have to be reminded to let them be kids. Often. Ask my parents, I so don’t think my kids are perfect despite what they think!

I wasn’t rude to the lady, but let her know that I wouldn’t be using the cry room. Her response: “God bless you”. And if you can make that statement in a crappy way without any heart, she did it.

I immediately found the grandmothers that love me and asked if my kids had made any noise. When they also told me how great they were today, I tattled on the witch. They were appropriately horrified for me.

Then I went to the priest who told me how happy he was to see the children at mass and thanked me for bringing them BEFORE I even told him about the lady.

You know this isn’t the first time I’ve been made to feel like crap for bringing my kids to church. It happens all the time. I’d like to say it’s mostly old people who have forgotten what kids are like, but it’s not. It’s people my age, my parents age and so on. For a church that opposes ABC and is so pro-life, sadly, a lot of them can be pretty crappy when it comes to kids.

Random thoughts and weekend plans

I power watched almost all the Oscar contenders, then fell flat. I’ve made it through one Documentary. Kind of, enough to say I hope it doesn’t win. I have one week left to finish up.

Just now realizing that I won’t be watching the Oscars with Paul and Brian.

Gave my kids fish sticks from the freezer section for dinner tonight. I felt like it was the 70’s. My young boys wondered what was on their plate. Squirt had the sense to appreciate the meal.

Bad week for me and the Baby Hulk. I had planned to take him to the symphony tomorrow, but am graciously allowing my dad to take him without me. It’s not that I don’t trust my dad or mom, I just honestly hate for my kids to be away from me. I am kind of psycho like that. MAYBE that is why I’m having such a hard time with BH this week. I think we need some space. I say this with a really heavy heart because he is truly the sweetest boy ever, but him being away from me for a few hours is a really good thing. Especially since during those few hours Lance will be gone.

I sometimes ask my kids why they are crying. Their response is usually, “I don’t know.” Even Squirt has taken several years to tell me exactly why he is crying. (Not that he has screaming crying fits anymore!) Today when No David was screaming hysterically, I asked him expecting the same response. Nope, he stopped crying, pointed at Lance and said “Daddy put me to bed.” Glad he was clear on that.

Taking my girl on a shopping spree tomorrow. The joy of girls!

Tomorrow night: dinner at Reef with Travis Rodgers and the wife. Excited to meet her.

Lance finally bought me tickets to the Old 97’s! Cannot wait. Super excited to see one of my favorite bands and Internet friends.

I want to lose 10 pounds in two weeks. Seeing that I lost ONE pound in ONE week, I don’t think that’s going to happen, but I can dream, right? What does Lance do: bring home cupcakes. He knew I was having a hard time with the BH. I didn’t want to make him feel bad, so I immediately ate two cupcakes.

I got a call from a friend at Goose’s school today. Her daughter has lice. Turns out the kid who had it two weeks ago passed it around. It’s not dangerous, but lice just sounds GROSS. Never had it as a kid, don’t want it. And selfishly, all I can think is: I have five kids, four who end up in my room at various times during the week. I can’t get lice. My hair is way too thick to have lice. I have this image of getting lice and having to shave off my hair to get rid of it. Every time my head itched today, I was convinced I had it. I came home, made Lance promise not to even joke about it and search my head. Anybody scratch their head while reading this?

Tuesday night four different children woke me up. No David cried because he didn’t feel well and finally came to sleep at the foot of my bed at midnight. The Baby Hulk arrived around 1 am to tell me he needed to use the restroom. Thankfully, he went back to his bed. Baby Z had her usual feedings during the night. Then Goose came in around 5 in the morning to sleep with us. Lance left that morning assuring me that we would never get pregnant again. I think he might be right.