:: Lately, No David has found his way into my room.  I feel bad for him, but honestly, I don’t want him sleeping with me.  He goes through phases, one week on, one week off.  This is an “on” week.  So I am trying what any normal mother would do: bribery.  You sleep in your bed, you get a piece of gum.  Now every night before he goes to sleep, he tells me he wants gum tomorrow.  I remind him about our little deal and he puts a smile on his face and closes his eyes.  (This is where I add that we now let him sleep with the light on rather than turning it off like most people would do.  This has been most beneficial to Lance who used to have to sleep on the floor until No David fell asleep.)

Last night, I heard the thump thump that is a sure sign of No David coming to my room.  He stopped outside my door and whispered “mom, I don’t want gum tomorrow.”  Then he proceeded to make room for himself in MY bed.

:: No David found a cough drop in a drawer last week.  Sensing some type of food, he asked what it was.  I explained and he pressed further, “for me?”.   I let him know that only people with coughs took cough drops.  He waited about ten seconds, coughed a tiny bit, then said he needed one.

:: I took the older boys to the King Tut exhibit.  I would have paid a stranger just so I dind’t have to take No David.  Thankfully, Lance came home and I didn’t have to risk losing him to a random person because I was coming up short on a babysitter.  I told him that he wasn’t going and he said fine, “I get to watch tv.”  To which I responded, “fine, as long as it is educational.”  He chose Power Rangers because “it teaches you how to kill the bad guys”.  He has a point.  (Interesting side note: Goose did not watch television until he was 3, and that was only Word World or Little Einsteins, not Power Rangers.)

:: Yesterday, I was working with Baby Hulk and No David wanted lunch.  He had already had a snack at 9:15, a mere two hours after he had finished breakfast.  Finally, I told him it was only 10 o’clock.  He proceeded to get the magnetic clock off the fridge and moved the time to show me that it wasn’t 10 any longer, and indeed, time for lunch.

:: Then there is the incident from last Friday.  It’s not going in print, but a few of my friends got the urgent DM about it.  I’m still recovering.

Three is where it’s at as far as Lance is concerned.  I tend to agree with him.  But this little kid, it’s hard to put into words.  He is more everything than the others have been. Sometimes that is good, often it’s bad.  Regardless, he is all personality and his own little person.  And I love him.

I am a list person.

A lot of things make me happy, but crossing things off a list is close to the top.  And while that might sound slightly pathetic, I’m fine with anyone thinking that.  I’d like to say it’s the only way to run a house with seven people in it, but I have been this way since long before there were even two people in my house.  Basically, I like to feel like I’m in control, and a crossed off list gives me the delusion of being in control.

I have lots of lists: meals, homeschool plans, wish lists from different sites, vacation ideas, a running list of gift ideas and so on.  Then there is the plan for the day: starting with workout plans and ending with the meal plan.  Being oh so organized, there isn’t a lot of room for spontaneous happenings in my life.  But I’m okay with that.  I have three kids at home right now to keep me company, we schedule play dates a couple of times a week and we’re happy.

So today, my dear friend sent a text asking if I had time for lunch.  She was running in from the suburbs and had had a really crummy evening and morning.

It wasn’t part of my plan.

But I said yes.

And it was so worth it.

A wonderful reminder that it’s okay to leave the written plans behind every once in a while.

THIS

ALLELUIA!!!!!!!!

I know, I know, Lent started today.  We hid the Alleluia last night, we’re not supposed to say it again until Easter.

But I know God is okay with me shouting that from the rooftops.

After six months without a dishwasher and 7 people in this home, I finally have a dishwasher!

So what did I do tonight after the kids ate dinner?

Washed everything by hand, of course.

For Today…February 20, 2012

Outside my window…it’s dark.  It’s quiet.

I am wearing…the black shirt I wore to mass this morning and Snoopy boxers.  And a big frown on my face.  I feel really sick.

Moments of grace…the city showing up to start fixing the yard, staying positive when the rain came immediately afterward and basically ruined the work, ordering a new dishwasher and getting free delivery and setup.  Sounds like I’m just excited about not having to spend extra money.  I am.  But it’s more.  It’s been really difficult to keep a positive attitude lately.  It’s hard to keep myself from wondering “what next?”!!  So yes, I am grateful for these small and unexpected gifts.

What next…I knew you’d ask.  Despite only having 22,000 miles on my car, I need new tires.  Like yesterday.  Seriously.

I am praying…that my family gets better.  Out of nowhere, three of us have fevers, two have colds and Sunshine has been waking up in the middle of the night screaming.  Extremely. Loudly.  I don’t know what else to do except bring her in my room, except three other boys are usually already there.  I NEVER PLANNED ON HAVING A FAMILY BED.  And we didn’t until this past year.  Where did I go wrong?!

I am listening to…my husband tell me about a wedding I missed.  And a baby start to cry.  Please, God let her go back to sleep.  I don’t have it in me right now.

One of my favorite things…well worn jeans.  It shows that my boys are playing nonstop and having the time of their lives.  Right?  Either that or all of a sudden Children’s Place jeans have become super cheap.  Is it bad that I was hoping to last the rest of the season without having to buy new jeans?  It didn’t happen.  With about a month to go, I am off to buy new freaking jeans for two of the boys.  I think I have some for Snax in the attic and Squirt, well he has a uniform he has to wear five days of the week so I’m safe for now!

Planning…what we’re doing for Lent, meals for the week, menu for Squirt and Goose’s celebration in April, Sunshine’s party???  I wish on the last one.  Once I have a yard, then I can have kids come over.  I will have her party one day.  I will.  I will.

Finding the joy…after four days of cancelled playdates, the boys and I met with Jenn and her son for a trip to the museum.  We liked the museum and loved the company.  Then there is the sweet girl who brought me a cupcake tonight.  Just because.  She must have known I needed a pick me up.

To live the liturgy…Lent starts this week.  I’m getting prepared.  We made our Lenten Calendar tonight.  Tomorrow I’ll paint wooden letters for the learning area, we’ll hide the “Alleluia” on Tuesday night, and we’ll start our fast.  The boys have been throwing around ideas on what they might give up.  Goose wants to pray the Rosary as well so he added some dates on the calendar for that.  I love Lent.  I love praying the Stations of the Cross.  The kids do too.  We’ll go outdoors and pray, we’ll use our candles and pray, we’ll use a wonderful meditation for the family and pray.  We’ll reflect and pray.  Together.

Learning all the time…Cancelled play dates led to lots of learning this week.  A little more bookish than Baby Hulk would have liked, but we managed to have some fun art and have started a unit on Poetry and Painting.  Planning a trip to the art museums this week.

From the kitchen…some pancakes Tuesday morning, some red beans and rice Tuesday night, then we Fast on Wednesday.  I was thinking we would have some kind of fish dish, but have decided instead we’ll have something very simple to reflect the day of fasting and abstinance that starts Lent.  While I definitely want to try some new dishes on Fridays during Lent, I also want to embrace the sacrifical part of abstaining from meat from the get go.

Reflecting on…how I can grow during Lent.  I’ve read lots of good stuff online, I just don’t know how to implement it.  Every. Single. Day.  Because isn’t that what I’m after?

A few plans for the week…science night at Goose’s school (really cool night planned), Ash Wednesday with the kids, Burger lunch at probably my favorite place in the city (assumingwe get better), lunch with a football family, museum play date, Stations of the Cross on Friday at the grotto off of 290 and maybe the fish fry at church.  And…Goose’s second confession is on Saturday.  A busy week assuming everyone stays healthy.

A picture thought…

My poor sick boy

My first Valentine from Squirt when he was 5 years old.  Yes, I am that mother.  The one who saves this type of stuff.  I keep it hanging in my kitchen window.

Years ago, it had different shades of pink, but today pieces are missing and the sun has made the color fade.  Still just as special.

His creativity has no limits…

For Today…February 12, 2012

Outside my window…It’s cold.  It actually feels like winter.  It was even sleeting in New Braunfels.  Would have been nice to have jackets.  Might have been smart to check the weather before we left town.

I am wearing…Snoopy pj pants and a Get Up Kids T-shirt.

I am listening to…The Grammys.  I love the Foo Fighters.  Love them.  So do the boys.

I am grateful for…a weekend away with Paul and Brian.  Without the boys.  THANK YOU Mom for keeping the boys.  And Dad for getting Goose to his game after I screwed up the time.  Thanks to my in-laws for letting us stay at their home while they were away.  Over all a perfect weekend.  While driving home today, I realized that we haven’t been to Chicago this year and that is the reason my husband has been so cranky with me!  So, we planned a weekend and tickets will be purchased this week.

I am praying for…people who are unhappy, patience and the ability to be truly grateful all the time.

Excited…that I finally have  a date for Squirt’s Confirmation and hopefully, Goose’s First Communion.  Praying that we can move Goose’s date up so that the two can celebrate together.  Seeing that I am way behind on my parties for the past year, I would like to combine these two events.

Around the house…here is a new rule: something new comes in, something has to leave the house.  Okay, I made this rule to apply to the ever growing amount of crap that enters this house via the boys, but I’ll play along too.  In fact, I will go first, I came home with some wicker baskets and I am getting rid of a magazine rack.  Simplicity.  We will embrace this principal.

Learning all the time…truly we are.  And it just makes me so sad because I just want to keep all my kids home and learn and live all the time.  I told Lance I was getting really upset about Baby Hulk leaving next year.  He couldn’t believe it.  The reality is that he’s a pretty great student and is so enthused.  He loves to read and listen to stories and narrate.

From the kitchen…low fat please.  After this past weekend, we don’t have  a choice.  We went to Na…, the oldest bakery in Texas and ate like vultures.  Not just me and Lance, but Brian and Paul too.  Poor Sunshine was in the Ergo and had flakes of icing in her hair.  Plus, Brian brought me a cupcake from Chicago, plus all the baked goods the rest of the family provided…It was pretty gluttonous.

One of my favorite things…this scene from Boogie Nights.  This is one of my favorite movies, and despite needing to watch several movies before the Oscars I found myself watching this last night.

I am reading…Brideshead Revisited.  I have read two pages so far.

I am creating…haven’t moved too far on my printables.  This week, I make my rough drafts so that David can help me finish.  Because that’s what he wants to do.

On my nerves…old people who sit on the aisles at mass and refuse to give up their aisle seats.  I mean, seriously, what the heck is wrong with them?  Are they trying to leave early?  There is no way in hell I can come into mass with five kids and Lance and not get up at least once.  In fact, Lance gets up as much as the kids do.

A few plans for the week…art work, some play dates and relaxing.

A picture thought…

When there is nothing else to blog about, it’s always safe to post pictures of the cute little girl.  I was trying to get the perfect shot, but Baby Z had no interest in sitting still for her mom.

Could there have been a worse month than January 2012?  I won’t list all the things that happened, but let’s just say there were a lot of things that really sucked.  A lot.

Okay, who thought I wasn’t going to mention the sewer line?  I have to because that did get worse.  Saturday evening after we thought all was fixed, my mom mentioned that the half bath toilet wasn’t flushing.  Sunday morning, we noticed more issues in the yard.  Monday my yard was dug up again, in a new spot.  So now, my entire yard looks like crap.  That said, we don’t have to go to Jessica’s house anymore to crap.  Which is a good thing.

Of course, I did get hit by a Metro bus on Monday afternoon.  So there’s that too.

Yes, there was good.  And today when the Baby Hulk read his daily reflection, I was reminded that God is always with me.  Always.  I know this.

My friend recently suffered a miscarriage.  She was sad, but at the heart of it she trusted in God and His will.  And they weren’t just words coming out of her mouth.  She meant them.

I can’t stop thinking of her words: He has never let me down.  I have to trust in Him.

Tuesday evening I was telling her about all the stress I was feeling, especially Monday night.  I might have been a bit frantic.  I was running around the kitchen lifting my shirt and asking anyone to check my back for shingles.  I was absolutely positive they were coming back.  And I was positive I couldn’t handle that stress.  And I really wanted a Xanax.  I joke a lot about taking Xanax, but in reality I only take it when I fly (heavy doses), big family events or I know I am about to lose it.

Monday qualified as a “losing it” event.  Except you can’t take Xanax when you’re pregnant.

No, this isn’t some big reveal.

I am not pregnant.  But I could have been.  We do practice Natural Family Planning.  We’re open to life, we don’t use birth control, BUT we’re hoping God is with us and doesn’t think we can handle anymore children.

I assume after Monday night, He’s on board with our plans.

In the middle of my rant Monday evening, I started wailing about not being able to take a Xanax because “what if we were pregnant…and how could we live like this for the next X years.”  It was quite the scene.

I told my friend the story and she reminded me that in doing God’s will, I was turning it over to Him and trusting in Him to do what is best for our family.  I felt calmer at that and was again brought to her words that He has never let me down.

He hasn’t.  I know that whatever has happened, good and bad, He has been there.  And will be there.  He knows what is best for us.  In all things, including our family size.

It’s hard to have that faith, especially when most of our friends are telling us over and over to just get a vasectomy.  Most people do something to prevent pregnancies, including most Catholics.  While I know the intentions are good, (and am not bothered by what other people do) it does get a bit frustrating to explain our feelings again.

After the month I’ve had, I’m really focusing on turning it over to Him.  And begging just a little that February holds a bit more hope than January did.  And also that Metro gets it together soon and pays for the damage.

:: Let’s start it off on a high note, shall we?  Today is Jessica’s birthday, my sweet little girl is now 18.  I call her “my” as if I own her.  I don’t, but she is family.  The boys love her and due to recent plumbing issues, we’ve become even closer to her since her bathroom has become the bathroom for the boys.  They have no shame at all.

Earlier this week, I went on FB and what did I see?  A comment about her getting a tattoo Friday night.  I’m a big fan of the “my house, my rules” line of thinking, meaning you don’t get a tattoo until you’re paying for yourself.  So immediately I wondered if her father knew about her plans.  And should I tell him or not?  I mean, she hadn’t confided in me about it.  I didn’t want to be a big mouth or anything, but I would want to know if my kid were getting a tattoo so that I could confiscate all their cash before their birthday.  Or at the least, lecture them on tattoo placement.  Or stupid symbols and such.

I didn’t tattle, but did suggest she wait until college to get one.  She doesn’t drink, so she needs something fun to do once she leaves home.

:: You know how you swear you are going to write a letter every time you receive poor customer service, but you never do?  After having a tense evening without toilets again, I did just that.  I wrote to the director of the Public Works division and explained our problem and the less than satisfactory resolution thus far.  This morning, I received a call from his office.  I was so surprised that I literally fell off the treadmill.  I am not joking.  My thumb is bleeding and my legs are raw from the fall.  I’ll just add that to the rest of the problems they have caused this week.

:: And no, the problem is yet to be resolved.  I have finally had two different people come over to the house to talk to me.  Been assured that it will be fixed hopefully within 3-4 hours, but nothing so far.  The best part?  I can use the restroom as long as I don’t mind it coming out in my yard.  Thanks, but no thanks.

:: Waiting for them today caused me to miss a field trip for Goose.  Yet another reason to be mad at the city.

:: And the kicker to what has basically been a pretty rough week?  I have my yearly check up today.  And while that is way too much information, I just don’t care.  I’m assuming most people that read my blog have heard of such things and can deal.  So here I go so I can wait around at the doctor’s office so I can be stuck in Friday traffic.  Go me.