I’m a little late with this post because after hitting the publish button, it vanished.  Hate when that happens.

Baby Z is three months old today.  She is really starting to look like a baby.  I no longer have a newborn.  Starting tomorrow, she wears 3-6 months clothes only because I have purchased so much for her.  She’ll have a new outfit every day for the next three months.  (Slight exaggeration, but not much.)

I still marvel at her presence, but today I am a bit saddened because a year ago I lost another baby.  It was our fifth miscarriage.  I was devastated.  I had been sad about the other miscarriages, but that one got to me more than any of the others.  Maybe because it finally seemed like too much for me to handle.

So today, I think of that lost baby.  And while there is still a huge part of me that misses her dearly, I am happy to know I have another Saint watching over our family.

Baby Z: three months in and things are better and better.  I love you more each day.  Your smile brightens the room.  You are a great cuddle bug.  Your brothers LOVE you so much.  Goose tells me (often) that he loves me and you.  I hate for time to pass so quickly, but I promise I am loving every minute of you, not thinking of you growing up, just living where we are today.

To our little Saint: I miss you and love you.  I wish I had met you in person, but know I will one day.  Hmmm…I hope to!  There I go assuming I’ll be in heaven one day!  Please watch over us and pray for your little sister!  Love, mom