School Projects
| Posted in school | 6 Comments » |
Seriously, I can’t take them. And having a certain fourth grader who NEVER, EVER starts a project early is going to drive me insane. Last weekend, he didn’t finish his project until late Sunday night. It was a project over a book he had read. Oh, you know, a book read, the day after Christmas. Yup, he had several weeks to finish. Just didn’t do a thing. So finally, I took control and said this is your project, come up with your list. Ran to the store to buy supplies, printed pictures for him and sat with him while he typed his information. He turned in his project on time.
Only to receive another damn project due tomorrow. So despite my threats of any privileges being gone if it wasn’t done by Saturday, he did not do one single thing. So today, he worked all day- from 8 am to 8 pm on what was really an easy project. Why? Because clearly, he doesn’t give a shit and knows mom will help him out in the end. In fact, I did help him. All day long. I sat next to him at the computer because when I left him alone last night to work, he did not write one single sentence. Not one. Today, I sat next to him all day with a sick sibling in my lap and let him read his information again. Then sat with him while he wrote, line by line. I think that’s called enabling. Sure, I’ll fussed and bitched the entire time, but in the end, there in his folder is his project. Done, ready to be graded.
But this is it. No more. I’ve read several articles about letting your kids fail~Love and Logic and natural consequences, they need to fail early on before it really matters. It starts this week. You don’t do your project, have fun at a new middle school making new friends. Have fun, kid. Because, guess what? I am done. Too bad that you are not a self starter and can’t finish your work. This work is not hard, except maybe math and science, and dad always helps with that. This work just requires you to actually get off your butt and do it.
So my new mantra is to let them fail. You have no idea how hard this is for me, control freak that I am. The experts say it’s important to let your kid fail, and clearly this specific child is going to learn this lesson. Or maybe he will actually do his work. You should have heard his brothers today. They were absolutely furious that yet another weekend was screwed for them because of his laziness. Here’s hoping that they learn this lesson by example.
Oh and yes, we already have the date for his next two projects…one over a book he has, yes, already read, and another a sign language project. Not too hard.
From Jilly:
My mom dealt with this. Accept she never could quite manage to allow my brother to fail. So she did every single project “with” him, all the way through high school, then in college she even had to register him for classes and met with his advisor so he wouldn’t mess up and take the wrong classes. So now my brother is almost 27 years old and really doesn’t know how to function as an adult. Because he never had to! She says I spoiled her because she never had to worry about me and schoolwork or anything. I can’t imagine how tough it is to decide to go through with it and just let it go…but trust me…I have the absolute PROOF that it will be better for him!! 🙂
From Cory:
I can’t believe they give them so many projects. Audrey has homework every week but not a ton and most projects are done at school.
From Jilly:
I just saw that I used Accept instead of Except. WOW. That’s what happens when I comment without having had coffee. *sigh*
From Nicole:
Jealous. Projects are stupid out of control. And with a kid who doesn’t do a thing on his own, I am over it.
From Nicole:
Hahaha! I caught myself using here instead of hear the other day. I almost cried, bc I became “that” person. Then I realized, it’s these damn phones, they correct everything for us. Totally not us. Plus, I gave up caffeine…I am lost without it!
From Nicole:
I am trying my hardest to let go. It’s so hard b/c this child is just not a self starter at all. it doesn’t matter what I say..”no football” ” no treats”…he doesn’t really care. And he is so smart. So I am doing it. I don’t want a child that can’t take care of himself. Better to fail now, right??? And of course you spoiled her!