This morning I told the boys that Chelsea was coming over and then reminded them where she goes to school. Alabama. The Baby Hulk shuddered and Goose threw out the biggest insult he could think of: Chelsea likes Rachel Ray. I don’t think it gets any worse than liking RR in this house!

For Today…July 19, 2010

Outside my window…it’s overcast. I hope the sun comes out soon.

I am wearing…my workout clothes. I have yet to make it to the gym. I have already missed two chances at class today. Here’s hoping I can get there for the evening classes!

I am so excited…about my upcoming trips. Paul and Brian have taken the lead on our trip, and our plans sound great, especially the fire every night so we can just talk together. Goose decided he would rather return to a hotel than have a birthday party, so we’re heading to La Cantera to celebrate his birthday (again) on my birthday!

I so love…watching my boys play together. This summer has been great. Despite not taking a big vacation, the heavy rains, and the eye problem, the boys have had a great summer. There have been fights, but there has been more love than anything else. After March Madness, they have all been into basketball, and now with World Cup they got back into soccer. They are outside almost daily playing a game.

I am thankful for…my amazing family. I love my parents and my kids so much. And of course, I love my wonderful husband who brings me so much happiness each and every day.

I can’t wait…until Sunday night. MAD MEN returns. I have been watching reruns and am so psyched about this next season.

I am praying for…my babies and for a great last month before school starts.

From the kitchen…hmmm….no plans yet except I want chicken Parmesan for my home cooked birthday meal. I need some light ideas since I am going to lunch tomorrow and we’ll be eating out most of the weekend. Cookies also sound really good for the road trip.

On keeping home…I am so ready for another deep clean. I still can’t figure out how to organize all the learning toys. Maybe once the kids return to school, I can figure out a new system.

I am trying…really hard to stay away from Amazon this week. I have money for my birthday already coming in, but I need new bookshelves. There are at least five new books the boys need though.

One of my favorite things…my birthday. Yes, even at almost 40, I still love my birthday. It is my special day. Mine all mine. I still expect calls, presents and cake. And always remember those who forget.

Noticing that…I always have a black rubber band around my wrist. Not really the look I am going for.

Living the liturgical year at home…we just haven’t been able to get Super Saints going this summer. I finally spoke with a friend and we have plans for two sessions before school starts, then a kickoff for the school year. Personally, I think that’s how it should be, but the boys have really missed their friends. We have been studying the different saints at home though and the boys continue to amaze me.

A few plans for the rest of the week…lunch with Marivi, Sushi with Chelsea (are you available?), La Cantera and celebrate the BIG 40!

A picture thought I am sharing…

Sharing with the food bully

Snow Cones Rock!

I am the calm one in the family, especially during an emergency. Lance is much more emotional or passionate than I am so if something happens to one of the kids, he freaks out. When I was bleeding excessively, he cancelled the babysitter we had that morning because he didn’t know what else to do except maybe watch me bleed out at home. By nature I am slightly cold, not a crier and can hold it together no matter what is happening to me or my kids. Until Tuesday…

I had to take Kobra to the doctor. I was so happy to be alone with him because I usually have at least two extra kids along for any doctor visit. We were even on time, getting in the elevator with four minutes to spare. On time, not early. I pushed number 3, the other couple pushed 4 and we were off. For a much different ride than I expected. We went up and down without stopping. I realized pretty fast what was happening and immediately my heart started racing. I checked out my cell phone which had no service and then pushed the alarm button nonstop for the next four minutes. I totally lost it. I had us stuck in an elevator for several hours with nobody noticing. (Because despite a sign that said we would be contacted in the event the alarm was set off, nobody ever spoke to us.) Finally, the damn elevator opened on the basement level. The other couple went to another elevator while I found the stairs and walked my 28 pound baby up what was now four flights of stairs. And the thing is nobody cared at all when I told them their elevator was whacked out.

For Today…July 12, 2010

Outside my window…it’s dark and peaceful. I’m ready for bed. It’s been a long weekend and we’ve got lots of errands tomorrow.

I am wearing…my pj’s.

I am listening to…the Dandy Warhols, thinking I wish I could see them in concert, then feeling really silly because we just saw them last year!

I am thankful for…my two birthday boys. We had a great time celebrating their birthdays this weekend with best friends on Friday and my parents and brother on Saturday. Sunday it was just family, my favorite.

Is there anything better than…the smile on a child’s face? Goose loved his presents, his new favorite is this damn pillow pet. This thing better not take Snoopy’s place. And he loved his new books. When I asked him which one he wanted to read first, he said he wanted to go in order. My true OCD child.

Goose’s blueberry cake

I am still praying for…Goose’s eye. My pediatrician has recommended a second opinion. I am so ready for my little boy to be back to normal.

I am grateful for…my insurance. Despite how shitty it is, I don’t know what I would have done the past two weeks without it. I feel so bad for people who don’t have the same options I have. Since June 27, I have spent $350 on doctors and medicine for Goose. During this time I also spent another $100 on me and Squirt. And…tomorrow, we have two yearly visits for the birthday boys and one more dermatology appointment for Kobra, so another $100. Then Squirt has a cranial scan (which I was just informed should cost $688) and an allergy shot to finish out the week. And this is why I won’t be having a birthday party for myself. But hey, at least, my kids get to see a doctor while others don’t. Because you know, health care shouldn’t be a basic human right.

I am thinking…of creating new house rules for myself. No more phone time or computer time when the kids are around. Except the morning call with Marivi and a quick email check while I down my cereal, there is no way I can handle starting my day without that call! I love the phone, but I’ve been pretty good about not talking as much as I would like when the kids are around. I have to think more on this.

Around the house…there are new toys to play with and old ones to donate. I went through toys again on Saturday and barely made a dent. I am trying to reorganize closets, games, books, learning tools, early readers, etc. I am really lost on how I want to organize everything.

From the kitchen…no more sweets! Do sugar free popsicles count? I haven’t planned my menu for this week, so hopefully that won’t hurt me.

Making Kobra’s cupcakes, the boys did the first step and Squirt frosted

One of my favorite things…being a mom and remembering the days my children were born. What a special gift this is; I don’t want to waste one second I have with them.

A few plans for the rest of the week…besides the doctor visits and a return to swim lessons after a week off, we have nothing else planned. I want to take it easy.

A picture thought I am sharing…new pj’s!

My little Kobra…what a year this has been. I can’t believe we’re watching soccer because everyone knows that Lance came up with your name after watching Germany. He knew I wouldn’t allow Bastian as a name so he managed to come up with your name and threw in the fact that it was a saint name! I was immediately sold. Just like I was with you the first time I held you in my arms.

At two years old, you already have your own opinion about everything. And you are quite vocal about it. You will not be told what to do, when to smile or be nice. You can be more than a little demanding at feeding time. I call it feeding time because that is how you act. You want your food and Lord help anyone who makes you wait or who won’t share with you. You are the same way with books, often throwing them at us if we don’t read fast enough or enough books to you.

A year ago, you were still crawling and now you are all over everything. Climbing on tables, walking into the pool without anyone, and basically, doing whatever you want. I love how you follow your brothers these days. It is so cute how you want to play with them all the time and sad that there are times when they close the door on you. You love your biggest brother and have become the third brother’s boy in this house.

But let’s be clear, you are still a momma’s boy through and through. And I love it. I love the smile on your face when you see me, I love when you come running to tattle on someone for hitting you and I love listening to you talk. My favorite words from you are “thank you” and “sorry”. Best of all, I love holding you in my arms.

This year starts the year of you taking over as cutest in the house, because let’s face it, two to four is where it’s at as far as Dad and I are concerned. I can’t wait to live through this next phase with you and experience the wonder of being two again through your eyes. I love you with all my heart my sweet little boy. Happy Birthday! May God Bless you always. Saint Benedict, pray for my baby boy today and always!

Goose- I tucked you into bed tonight saying, “goodnight five-year old boy.” Your face was so cute because you know that tomorrow I can’t call you that. Tomorrow, you will be six. I talked with you about July 8, 2004: how my water broke and that it was time, but that you weren’t quite ready to come. Not until the next day. That’s how I feel now. I want to keep holding on to today.

What a year five has been for you. Of course, the biggest thing to happen this year was going to public school. And what a success you were. Even though you had never been to daycare beyond the gym, preschool or day camp, you shined at school. And how I missed you. There wasn’t a day that passed that I didn’t want you home with me, learning with me, reading with me. And it wasn’t just me that missed you. Your baby brothers wanted you around as well which is why we had lunch together so often. I am already getting manic thinking about you returning to school.

People always laugh at me because I never sent you to preschool and you’re not in camps all summer long. I just wonder how they can stand to be separated from their kids willingly in the summer. Nothing has made me smile more than watching you play with the Baby Hulk lately. Despite being stuck inside due to illness and rain, you two have had a blast and without the TV, I might add! While it’s not always fun and games, I love the bond I see you two developing and hope you will always have his back the way he has your back.

Five marked the year that you first cried over a sporting event. You have no idea how proud that made both me and your father. I can’t wait to see how you are during football season!

At five, you still LOVE to read. When we go to bookstores, I catch you reading two books at a time. You love story time regardless of what I’m reading. I have enjoyed going through all the Magic Tree House books this year and am excited to find a new series to read together.

Your love for Super Saints is what keeps me going when I want to call it quits. We have learned so much together through Super Saints, and I hate the look on your face when we’ve had to cancel our meetings. I hope you always love the Saints the way you do now and look to them for inspiration and intercession.

Goose, you are my baby, the child that is most like me. I’m not sure that is a good thing, but it does make me understand you better than any child in this house. You have made me happier than I thought possible. The fact that you kept every lunch note all year long is the sweetest thing in the world and possibly a little OCD. Your love for Snoopy has not waivered this year, and I hate the thought that one day you won’t care where he is. For now, I will enjoy that you throw a fit if he gets left behind. I will always be here for you. I love you more than you can ever know. May God continue to bless you and keep you safe. Happy Birthday, my dear, sweet, six-year old boy.

Try selling this house once the owner dies:

https://www.huffingtonpost.com/2010/07/05/jean-stevens-wyalusing-wi_n_635588.html

I love how she thinks keeping two corpses in her home is just fine.

Goose: “Mom, guess what the best thing in my world is?”
Me: “What?”
Goose: “You! And TV is my second best thing.”

WHAT??? I guess I should be happy that I came in first over TV. It amazes me the hold television can have over people. Here is a kid who wasn’t allowed to watch television until he turned three years old, and he was only allowed one 30 minute show at the time. Even now, he can only watch for an hour per day.

After careful consideration and a reminder from Aunt Stacy, Goose has amended his statement. TV is third, Snoopy is second. I am safe for now.

Is there anything worse than not being able to sleep? I know there is, but right now with my entire house sleeping, I could not be more uneasy. It’s early for me and Lance to be thinking about sleep, but lately one of us has been passing out by 10:30 pm. A sign maybe that we are wearing ourselves out a bit. My body is tired and my mind is racing nonstop. Thinking about Goose’s upcoming birthday, the past year and being depressed, school, and then the other stuff that just creeps in and keeps me awake. It was this week last year that I called Paul while he was in France to talk about all the things racing in my head because I knew he would understand and calm me down. He did, as usual. How I wish it wasn’t too late to call right now!

For Today…July 4, 2010

Outside my window…it’s dark and quiet. Any second I should hear fireworks. I stayed home with the baby and let Lance take the other three boys. Part of me is bummed, then I remember the downpours we’ve had all week and am happy not to be in soggy, wet grass.

I am listening to…Liz Phair. Part of me wants to just enjoy the silence that I haven’t had all day, but Liz won out.

I am thankful…that Goose’s eye is finally on the mend. He actually took his glasses off for most of the day. He is full of energy and was quite the spazz today. We created this flag today in honor of the 4th. I realize it’s not quite accurate, but our platter wasn’t big enough to make it perfect.

I am thinking…about this quote: “the fruit of silence is prayer.” I think I need more silence in my life.

I am wondering…if I should have the birthday party I have been planning for myself. It’s just girlfriends at the house, nothing big like I did for Lance’s birthday. It’s a great idea, I think, but here’s the problem: we already have big plans with Paul and Brian, which means I am already spending money on my birthday. I don’t know that I can really justify spending more money on myself. Don’t get me wrong, I love having money spent on me, just not from my bank account. Decisions, decisions…

Around the house…my curtains arrived and I’ve been wondering for a week if they can be ironed. My sister-in-law took the time to look at the tag and let me know that I need to get them dry cleaned. I need to get an iron rod, then find someone to install them because we don’t do things like that around here.

From the kitchen…I found some great recipes to try for the summer, and I’m excited about having new food. I have to stick with a menu or we just don’t eat well. I had the best strawberries today. Now if only I could buy a good watermelon. I have taken so many back to the stores because they sucked. Yes, I am one of those women.

One of my favorite things…my boys running around and having a blast. Most days they are so much fun. I can just see their faces at the fireworks right now. Our neighbor gave them glow sticks for tonight and they were so excited about them. Even Squirt.

I am praying for…my babies, especially Goose’s eye and Squirt’s nose.

I am grateful for…family, bbq’s, summer fruit, friends that listen when I’m manic and a clean house

Towards Rhythm and Beauty…I love the season our family is in right now. I feel a real happiness in our life these days and am not looking forward to any changes.

A few plans for the week…it’s time to plan for the birthday boys. We have three birthdays to celebrate this week!

A picture thought I am sharing…

My 4th of July boys. I didn’t make Squirt match the boys this year.