What grand, glorious plans I had for this week…there was the lunch with a friend on Friday, a field trip with my favorite K child, and a play-date planned with two adorable boys, one which I would be allowed to hold for the entire play-date, that’s how nice his mom is.

Throw in the Audubon on Tuesday and storytime on Wednesday at our church, lunch with my parents and the week was near perfect with some daily swimming lessons thrown in for good measure.  I wasn’t even scared of daily swimming lessons.  That is how in control of things I was.

And the universe laughed.  And laughed some more.

By 5:15 Monday evening, I had one child resting in his bed after puking twice, a toddler running around the house, a four year old causing trouble and an eight year old supposedly studying for a test.  All day I had felt a bit off, so much so that while at the grocery store I had a banana just I case I puked.  The thought behind this: it wouldn’t taste gross coming up and might mask my earlier meals.  Seriously, I think like that.  All. The. Time.  (And now you realize what Lance goes through living with me.)

Squirt called from less than a mile away for me to pick him up.  I couldn’t go by then, Baby Hulk was puking again.  By the time Squirt walked home, I had joined him.  I recall Snax coming in and patting me on the back, then saying he was tired.  He slept until 7 when he woke up to puke.  At this point, Lance is home and has taken Zofram in hopes that he can escape the misery within this house.  Snax sat in my bathroom for the rest of the night puking off and on the entire night.  By 9, Goose was puking in the hall bathroom.  Lance was running from room to room trying to help all of us.  And trying not to get too close either.  I don’t know what I would have done if he had been out of town.

At 1 am I heard Squirt moaning in the hall bathroom.  I managed to get Goose into my bathroom so that Squirt had some privacy.  He puked all night long.  Loudly.  Then Goose and Snax went back and forth every twenty minutes until 6 am.  It was a long night, and I felt like dirt.

Thank God, Squirt was able to help when I first got sick because I felt like I might die.  I vaguely recall begging God for mercy.  Over and over.  My sweet boy Squirt offered to help Goose study for his test and make sandwiches for everyone else for dinner.  He also kept Sunshine away from me, not the easiest task that time of the day.

In my mind, I kept thinking this was a 24 hour bug and by the next afternoon  I would be wanting a burger.  Not so much.  I never got sick again, but always felt on the verge of puking.  I kept the elementary kids home two days, but Squirt had to return Wednesday.

Wednesday evening had both Squirt and Baby Hulk sick again.  And again this weekend.  I’m not sure why these two can’t shake this, but they haven’t completely.  It frustrates me for them, but honestly, I’m glad it’s just two and not the rest of us.

As my mother in law said, nothing worse than puking except 6 people puking.  So damn true.

And can I just say, I expected to lose, maybe ONE FREAKING POUND…..Is that too much to ask?  Apparently, I am not worthy of give me weight loss points because I didn’t lose anything.  The boys all looked like I starved them all week long while I didn’t change a bit.

And no, Sunshine didn’t escape.  She started this mess last Saturday night.  Five hours and she was done.

So not my favorite of weeks, not the week I planned but at the same time, it was a week full of love for each other, help for each other, a son that really stepped up when I was down, friends calling to see what they could do to help and a house that smells like Clorox.  It’s so bad my hands have smelled like Clorox since Tuesday…because let me pat myself on the back, I may have been sick, but this mom freaking disinfected the house and washed towels and sheets like a freaking demon.

Here’s hoping next week allows us to spend time with friends and family we missed this week.  Although after hearing that two kids are still puking, nobody probably wants to be around the Zierleins for quite some time.