Sunshine, I’ve been keeping your monthly updates private.  No real reason, but sweet girl, this has been such a big month for you.  I just have to share.

The big news!  You walk!

Yes, you’ve been trying to walk for most of the summer.  Back in June, you were taking about 4-9 tentative steps.  Then you just kind of stopped.  Seriously, I didn’t know when you would start again.  You kind of liked crawling around.

Then right before my birthday, you started with the slow steps again.  And on my birthday, you were more sure of yourself, until you just took off.

And now, you walk as much as you crawl.  I find you standing up all the time.  You are still a little Frankenstein, but you don’t fall over.

And so what happened once you began to walk?  You moved up  a room at the gym’s child care.  I couldn’t believe it.  It’s summer, it’s a busy time at the gym.  Yet, they still moved you, assuring me that you were ready, that if you were overwhelmed, they would let you come back.  I asked won’t you miss her?!  It’s one room over, the rooms are connected, you can stand up and see them, hear their voices; clearly, they can see you.  But still…I know they love you, they told me “we had her 19 months, it’s time”.

And it made me more than a bit sad to think of you growing up, moving on.  They commented on how they love the little babies, move them to the next room and soon the kids fly past them barely waving hello.

Clearly, it won’t be the same with me, your mother.  You won’t be moving on from me anytime soon.  Yet…Life demands that you grow.  That you take new steps. As you start something new, you leave something behind.  I know this, I’ve watched it with each child.  But as the baby in the family, it does pull the heartstrings more than ever.

 Saturday, at the boys’ basketball game, I didn’t have to hold you.  You wanted to walk around and tease us from where you were playing.  Yes, playing.  You are sort of a mini me about mess.  You’re just not a fan, so often I find you dumping items out only to immediately put them away.  You will interrupt your brothers to put away their toys.  You love the castle, and I can already picture you playing with the doll house you’ll be getting this Christmas or maybe the red kitchen.

The sweetest thing you do is your response to “do you love mom?”  You say “love momma.”  I must record that.  Must.

I do wish you were a bit sweeter with other people, like say Mimi and Grandpa, maybe your father!  Baby Hulk.  Here’s a secret I told BH, you are all the same.  You all wanted me.  In time, you will go straight to them without needing me  Even now, you go to them, but only on your terms.

You are so possessive of me that if someone touches me, you push their hand away and say “uh-uh”.  The boys all shout, “she’s not just your mom.”  (I love it, a couple of them are getting a taste of their own medicine.)  You hate for anyone to push the shopping cart or to share me.  It’s sweet to me, but oh so frustrating to them.

You communicate to me so clearly.  To others, not so much.  You know exactly what we say to you.  It’s an interesting thing for a parent to realize that you understand every single thing we say.  I’ve known it for a year.  Your dad is still amazed.  We can all certainly understand when you don’t want something.

Sweet girl, you continue to light up our lives.  You are amazing.  Your smile and excitement makes me happy when I’m sad.  I love who you are, and I love watching your personality emerge.

I’ve been trying my hardest to find a doll for you.  You deserve a doll.  I was ready to go all out, spend whatever it cost, but let’s be real, I don’t want you to get freaked out by a doll. And so many dolls are kind of creepy looking.   So I will search, perhaps ask some people with girls.

Little girl, I love you with all my heart.  Congratulations on your steps!