By | Posted October 17, 2013

Posted in Daybook | No Comments »

For today:: October 17, 2013

Outside my window:: it’s dark.  It’s quiet.  It’s cool outside.  I kind of wish I was outside drinking wine on my patio.  Except I still don’t have patio furniture.  Or any wine at home.

I am listening to::
a couple of boys giggle.  We’ve had some rough brother moments lately, so these giggles bring a smile to my face.  And that lasted all of three minutes before one hit the other.  Sigh.

I am wearing:: boxers and a t-shirt.

I am grateful for:: our priest.  We had the chance to really talk the other day, and it just made me grateful for him.

I am praying for:: my great aunt, a cure for Duchenne MD and patience.


Teaching lessons in:: compassion and what it means to pray for others and to care for them.  Some of my kids are really smart.

Super excited:: we are going to Kansas City for a game.  Snax’s Godfather is head of player personnel there and has been inviting us to visit.  What better game than the Chiefs against Denver.  Early Christmas for me and LZ.

Loving:: that my son still talks about becoming a priest.  To his classmates!!  And not at a parochial school.  He seems so sure of it, and even says he probably won’t date because priests don’t get married.  Sure, he’s young and only God knows if he really has a vocation, but he’s open and that is amazing.


Literally not enough time:: Have I mentioned how much I hate school?  Besides the fact that I don’t get any time with my kids anymore, the thing that we like to do the most, read together, gets pushed to the side.  Every evening it’s a struggle to get 30 minutes of read aloud time.  For a family that is used to at least an hour plus solo reading and reading to mom, 30 minutes just doesn’t cut it.  I don’t understand how we are expected to be at school until 3:15, come home or immediately go to an after school activity, have a snack, do homework, make dinner, check homework, take showers, eat and then read.  Also, each child is expected to read every evening, and Snax is actually supposed to keep a reading journal.  Also, when are my kids supposed to unwind from the day?

On the menu:: it was meatloaf, mashed sweet potatoes and asparagus on Monday.  One child refused to try the meatloaf, super effing annoying.  Not sure what I’m supposed to do about that.  Tuesday it was mahi mahi with cauliflower and green beans, then chicken parmesan for Baby Hulk on Wednesday, grilled chicken tomorrow and burgers on Saturday.  Not too bad of a plan.

Around the house:: with only one child at home during the day, I feel like I should be getting more done.  I am going to make a list and just force myself to do something daily.  This week it’s finishing my monthly plans with books lists and art ideas.  It’s a pretty big project, so that’s it for this week, maybe next.  Well that and the normal upkeep of the house.


Cultivating rhythm:: I think we’re almost there.  Slowly but surely, Sunshine and I are finding a natural rhythm to follow each day.  And it helps.  Now if I can use that rhythm to get some things accomplished around the house.

Living the liturgy:: the past couple of weeks have been amazing.  This week we continue with two special Feasts, St. Terese of Avila, one of my favorite saints, and St. Gerard on Wednesday.  We celebrate a nameday and the special boy has requested parmesan chicken with pumpkin bread.

One of my favorite things:: reading to my kids.  At least, I have Sunshine at home with me.  She loves books as much as the boys.  And she sits for fairly lengthy books.  Her current favorite is Angel in the Waters.  I love board books and will be sad when I have to pack those completely away, but I am so happy that she can sit for 30 minutes while I read to her.


A few plans for the week:: lunch with the boys, storytime at church, reconciliation prep, lunch dates.  Pumpkin decorating with Goose’s class.  And my book study.  I haven’t read, I have no interest in going either.  And I’m so tired, I just want to sleep.

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This Boy

By | Posted October 14, 2013

Posted in Family Life, Goose | No Comments »

This boy has my heart.  Nine hasn’t been what I would consider the easiest year thus far. He’s getting to that age where he’s not quite as innocent, he hears more things at school that I don’t like and he is just getting older.  Then there is the relationship with his brother that is often troubling.

But at the end of the day, he’s still the sweet boy who wants to snuggle with me, sleep with Snoopy and read nonstop.

When I find him like this, I can’t help but be filled with joy.


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A Reason To Smile

By | Posted October 12, 2013

Posted in Longhorns, pictures, TX/OU | 1 Comment »




Let’s just say I wasn’t in the mood to throw away another shirt.  And thankfully, I can keep these.  I kind of like them.

What a game!  Sure, I had to lock myself in my bedroom for most of the game.  At one point, I had two children shouting “mommy” outside my door.  They took it further and started using a microphone to try and get my attention.  I love those kids, but really???

I had to chase my oldest son out of my room because as someone who has no interest in football, he always brings bad luck.

Then there was my husband telling me to stop cussing so much.  Really???  I was in the privacy of my own bedroom with no kids at that point.

But who cares!!!

After a season of missed tackles, a shitty offense and a coach who just needs to GO…We won.

Won, won, won!!!

Someone on Twitter asked if the Longhorns still wanted to win.  Um, yes.  It’s TX/OU.  We want to effing win.

And to think my kids actually asked to attend their school carnival.  As if.

It’s 10:43 pm and OU still sucks.

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Five For Friday

By | Posted October 11, 2013

Posted in Five For Friday | 2 Comments »

:: This week I got a call from Goose’s math teacher.  He was calling from the playground and wanted to let me know that Goose and Baby Hulk had gotten into it.  And that Goose was at the nurse because BH kicked him.  Twice.  And drew blood.  Am I a bad mom that I immediately wondered what asshole thing Goose had done to illicit such a reaction from BH?  Turns out Goose had indeed said something shitty, and BH wasn’t going to stand for it.  I love Goose’s teacher for calling me and having me deal with BH over the phone rather than sending him to the principal.  He also gave BH a little lecture about how Goose would always be his brother and how they needed to get along better.  My last thought on this…wait until Snax joins them on the playground.

:: So my hair dresser totally freaking dumped me.  Has that ever happened to anyone before?  We totally got along during appointments, she would laugh because I wouldn’t wash my hair for a week after she styled it, I sent her a client for coloring and a cut and she sent me a text randomly about how her boyfriend has a man crush on my husband.  Then I try and make an appointment and she totally ignores me.  Like three text messages and a FB DM.  Totally freaking ignores me.  I’m kind of pissed, but at least I have a friend whose hair I love and will now give her guy my money.  I just hope he has wine at his place too.

:: I was going through Baby Hulk’s graded papers and was slightly annoyed to see he got an 80 on something.  I admit, I expect nothing lower than a 90 from him.  I looked over to see the problem, and turns out he left one blank.  The other wrong question asked “how can you tell that a baseball is not the same as a basketball.”  BH’s response: a baseball hurts me more.  She marked it wrong.  Didn’t even put a smile beside his answer, which you have to admit is not only true, but funny as well.  This teacher, not one who jokes much.

:: So Sunshine is finally starting to use the toilet.  I’m very happy about that.  She isn’t a fan of pooping on the toilet though, so I’ve resorted to bribing her.  The other day I told her she could have a donut if she pooped.  She did and then started screaming in my face, “I get a donut.”  Over and over.  Last night, I said she couldn’t get on my bed if she didn’t poop.  (Because she holds it in for days!)  She managed to get one small turd out of her.  Today she wanted cake.  After crying because I wouldn’t give her a piece, she went and pooped and then said, “I get cake.”  I’m not sure how long I can continue to bribe her to poop.

:: It’s 5:53 pm and OU still sucks.

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This and That

By | Posted October 3, 2013

Posted in Random | No Comments »

So, it appears I may be learning a huge lesson in detachment as we can’t find Sunshine’s birth pictures on any computer or backup.  I actually still print pictures, but it seems despite having the sweetest pictures from her birth, I never printed any from that day.  I think some major prayers for St. Anthony’s intercession as well as a lot of patience as I go through every single file we have of pictures are going to be necessary.

Speaking of prayers, yesterday was the Feast of the Guardian Angels.  We have several sweet books about the Guardian Angels, our favorite Pascual and the Kitchen Angels.  The prayer…Sunshine can recite it!!  It was so sweet, I started praying it and then she just kept going.  I had no idea.  After reading St. Jerome’s wonderful quote and some other quotes from the Bible, I have found myself relying a bit more on my own angel as well as those of my children.  I didn’t grow up talking about my guardian angel, but it’s pretty amazing to think I’ve had an angel out there watching over me from the beginning.

My great aunt, the 100 year old aunt, is in the hospital.  And so I’m talking to her guardian angel too.  A lot.  I can’t imagine being in the hospital at that age.  Praying really hard that she gets better soon and is back to her home.

So I am getting an alphabet of saints for Sunshine’s birthday/Christmas.  Well, my mom is getting some, my BFF is getting one, and then my dad said he’d buy the rest.  He loves that she loves them and is learning about the Saints.  Hmmm, at 28 per doll, my basket is pretty pricey.  And that doesn’t include saints for U, W or X yet.

Super frustrating to me is not being able to get a copy of this book.  It is such a sweet story, and the kids love it.  Generally it’s checked out at the library, but last year I finally secured a copy.  I decided we needed it for our personal library and ordered it in early September.  Now amazon can’t get a copy for me.

Snax went five weeks and two days without getting a note in his daily folder.  Five weeks!!!

I woke up super early today, as did Baby Hulk.  He’s just sitting on the couch reading next to me.  I love this kid.

And really, this girl, has no shame.  She wants his ice cream so badly!


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Let the feasting begin

By | Posted September 30, 2013

Posted in Catholic, Liturgical Year, saints | No Comments »

Sunday marked the beginning of one of the best weeks in the liturgical calendar~The feast of the Arch Angels.  The kids had angel food cake and read about the angels, even taking some time to learn the St. Michael prayer.

Today we read one of our favorite books, St Jerome and the Lion and since he is credited with translating the Bible, everyone picked their favorite Bible story to share, even Sunshine.  Her story was about Moses; she is currently obsessed with Moses.

We’ll have small celebrations throughout the week to honor St. Therese, The Guardian Angels and St. Francis.  I love being Catholic, and all the fabulous saints are one of the reasons.


I read this great quote from St. Jerome today several times.  I think it’s pretty amazing.  Also, he’s the patron of librarians!!  Isn’t that the best???

So valuable to heaven is the dignity of the human soul that every member of the human race has a guardian angel from the moment the person begins to be.

St. Jerome
Doctor of the Church

Happy feasting!


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By | Posted September 30, 2013

Posted in pictures | No Comments »

Could there be anything sweeter than a big brother reading to his little sister?


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Sunshine at 2 1/2

By | Posted September 28, 2013

Posted in Baby Z, pictures | No Comments »

A few weeks ago someone asked you how old you are and you answered “2 1/2”.

2 1/2!!!

Goose and I just stopped in our tracks.  Where did that come from?!  It may not be a huge deal, but to us, it was just an amazing answer.  I mean, you really are 2 1/2.  And the way you answered, so full of personality.

That is who you are today.  Full of personality.


You ask everyone their name “what your name?” And then you make them repeat it.  And when they ask your name, you are very specific.  “Marianna” and when they pronounce it incorrectly, you let know exactly how to say it: “mad y ana”.  You will say it over and over again to make sure they say it correctly.  Sunshine, I struggle with this too, I’m not sure of the answer.  But I do think emphasizing the D sound may help.  Regardless, I love just how verbal you have become.

You literally tell stories.  Stories!!!  Remember yesterday…this morning…later we are going to…that lady…X hit me…and many more.


Just like those that came before you, you love books.  You pick out a stack and bring them to me.  Sometimes I don’t read fast enough for you.  Lately though, you tell me that you want to read and then you open the book and tell me a story.  You’re not at the memorizing stage, you just tell your own version of events.  The other kids never did this, and I am enjoying this immensely.  You’re creative in ways the others aren’t.

Your memory…it’s amazing.  Maybe all kids are like this, and you would think I would know, but I can’t remember the others having a memory like you.  You remember playdates from last year, babies that were born, food we’ve eaten and cookies I’ve promised to bake.  I can barely remember yesterday and here you are telling me every single thing that happened.

You like to color, but thus far, your abilities are similar to your brothers.  You love your pencil bag more than the actual coloring.  And that doesn’t surprise me because you love to shop.  You had to have the pencil bag one day while we were at the bookstore.  I’ll admit it’s pretty cool.  But seriously, you have got to tone it down on the shopping.  You have literally cried a few times because I wouldn’t take you shopping.


Sunshine, you are what I might say opinionated.  And I’m glad, always stand up for what you believe, know what you think and why and don’t let anyone bully you into following their agenda.  That said, I wish you were slightly less opinionated about what clothes you wear on a regular basis.

Mass~ the positive…you always kneel when entering the pew, you love the priests and run up to them for hugs and you say the Our Father.  The could be better…your behavior in between entering and leaving the pews.


You get excited when Squirt comes home from work, and love your Gaga more than anything.  I love the relationships you are forging with the boys.  I hope you guys are always so close.

You enjoyed swimming this summer and want me to take you daily.  You don’t mind going under the water and jump into to my arms regularly.

You count to twenty, know your ABC’s and sing songs all day long.  Someone asked me the other day what I was doing with you, meaning learning wise.  My answer~ playing.  We play, I read, we take walks and we learn the saints and go to mass.  I think that is more than enough for a very long while.


You are definitely one of us, you love food and sometimes it brings you to tears.  And not in a good way.  I am not sure that you ever get full.  And you love sweets as much as the rest of us.  You don’t seem to be picky about them.  You don’t love vegetables, but you will eat raw green beans with dinner daily so for now, that’s good enough.

You might be considered a little OCD about things.  You literally keep your baby in one area in your crib and don’t like it when she is moved.  You also line yourself up with the middle rod in the crib.

This shouldn’t surprise me because you love to clean.  You see a speck of dirt and tell me to clean it or you run and get the swifter.  You like mess about as much as I do, and will do everything to make sure it gets cleaned up soon.

You really are an amazing little girl, Sunshine.  You brighten our day and those you see you.  The ladies at the gym love you so much, despite the fact that you tattle when the ladies don’t give you cookies.  At times, you guilt them into giving them to you before leaving.  But it’s hard to say no to you for most people.


I am loving this stage with you, my sweet little girl and I am so excited about the time we have alone together!  I love you, Sunshine.

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For Today…

By | Posted September 23, 2013

Posted in Daybook, pictures | 1 Comment »


For Today:: September 23, 2013


Outside my window:: it’s dark outside, and the weather wasn’t miserable.  I can handle that.

I am wearing:: Halloween boxers and a t-shirt.

I am thankful for:: a wonderful weekend filled with football and friends.


I am praying for:: the repose of an old friend’s soul, his family, a friend of a friend who just lost her husband in a car accident, a cure to DMD, Snax’s writing and peace.

I am listening to:: the breathing of my sweet boy Snax.


Towards rhythm and beauty:: we’re getting there.  I’ve got a small schedule of things I do with Sunshine, nature walks and storytime at the church.  Cleaning on Thursdays and lunch with the boys during the week.  But I’m still feeling out of sorts, maybe a few more weeks of this routine and I”ll feel normal.

Around the house:: that spotless house…I mopped today and before the kids were even home, there was stuff all over the floor.  There was only one person at home, I won’t give names, but needless to say, it’s super frustrating to clean and not have it last for three hours.


To be fit and happy:: My spin teacher returns Wednesday.  And I have a damn meeting.  But I’m happy.  I have my spin shoes and heart rate monitor so I am set!

I am reading:: The Temperament God Gave You.


From the kitchen:: menu planned, hopefully everyone likes dinner as much as I do.  And I’m baking.  Made bread for the ladies at the front office last week, and they were so grateful.

I am excited:: that fall has arrived.  Sure, it will be miserably hot within days again, but there are fun things to do with my kids and husband.


One of my favorite things:: football.  I took the kids to the football game in Austin last weekend.  Sunshine was an angel.  Then Snax.  Goose and Baby Hulk were okay at best.  Thank goodness my dad was there to help.

A few plans for the week:: Audubon, storytime, lunch with a friend, lunch with the boys at school, Dinner with some friends, and a first grade moms get together.


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By | Posted September 15, 2013

Posted in Baby Hulk, birthday | 2 Comments »

My Sweet Baby Hulk, you’re seven now.  I can’t even believe that we’re here.  But we are, another year has come and gone.  And what a great year it was for you.


I start with a simple apology of never posting last year’s birthday letter.  It’s mostly done, except for the pictures,  yet never published.  Why?  I can answer easily.  Last September was just so hard with you away from home, not that it ever got easier with you being away, but September was the hardest.  I hated you being away at school, doing who knows what all day long.  Publishing your post just made me sad.  Lame excuse, I know.  And no, I am not any happier this year.  I miss you like crazy and when you ask to stay home, it kills me to tell you that you have to go to school.  Kills me.

When I look at who you are right this second, I can thankfully say you haven’t changed much since last year.  You’re still my nature boy, the boy who loves seasons and remembers your special books.  You are completely offended with the fact that Christmas decorations are already making an appearance.  You just don’t get it, and I am happy that you are content to take your time and let each season in life happen as they should.

Right now, you often tell me you want to be a priest.  My heart swells with pride that you actually consider this as your vocation.  Maybe you have that calling, it’s a bit too early to tell, but I’ve done something right if you are even considering it.  The only problem is you have a difficult time with prayer.  And I’m not talking about personal out loud prayers, I am talking about just praying out loud.  It kind of annoys you when we call you out on it, but come one, if you want to be a priest, you need to pray so people can hear you.


This should be an exciting year for you because you will be receiving your First Communion.  I’ve already ordered a new book to help us on this road.  And I’m already thinking of your party.

You excelled at school, and honestly, I really wish you had just skipped Kindergarten. I knew you wouldn’t learn anything, and well, you didn’t.  But at the same time, I am glad I don’t lose you a year earlier later on down the road.  Now you’re in first grade and three weeks in it’s a breeze.  Funniest thing~ earlier this week you came home wtih a 92 and I made a comment.  You just looked at me and said “calm down, it’s above a 90, mom.”  Well, okay, kid, you are right.  I won’t stress about 92’s.


You literally read all the time.  All. The. Time.  You get in the car with a book, you take one to the bathroom, you lay on the floor reading, in bed at night.  You never tire of it.  This past summer, you decided you wanted to read The Lion, The Witch, and the Wardrobe.  You also read the Magician’s Nephew.  And you completely understood them without needing my help.  You read about bugs, Ramona and Henry Huggins and now you’re reading Goosebumps like your brother.  I want you to have lots of interests in life, but your love of reading is my favorite hobby you will ever have.

Last year you played basketball and baseball again.  You’re a pretty decent player.  You hit well, and I wish I could figure out what size of bat you really need because then you would be awesome.  I love the smile on your face when you are running to first base.  So happy and proud.  You’re such a great team player in basketball, something you don’t see often in kids your age.  You pass the ball and expect the same from your teammates.  Once you figured out they weren’t going to pass, you decided you didn’t need to pass quite so much and scored.  When you have success in sports it just makes my heart happy.  I could stare at the sweet look on your face for hours on end.


BH, you worry quite a bit about what is fair and what’s not.  And while I wish things in life were fair, I hate to break it to you, life isn’t fair.  Things aren’t always even steven not even when you are dealing with me and your dad.  What I want most is for you to worry about yourself and how you are treating others.  Don’t always worry if someone is getting more time to play or more things than you.  That said, don’t let anyone walk all over you.

You are such a good brother.  Most of the time, 🙂  You are overly generous when it comes to choosing things that they will enjoy also.  I hope they learn from your example.  You enjoy playing with Sunshine and reading to her.  And you hate when Goose won’t play with you.  I think it is so sweet that you always find him on the playground at school.  And as Snax has grown you like playing with him too.  Most afternoons find you three running around playing some made up game.  Or building legos.  Or playing beyblades.  Or outside playing football.  Or basketball.


My sweet boy, you are so sensitive and caring, it breaks my heart at times.  Your love of nature astounds me and it’s amazing how you are the one who always finds things like snail shells and bugs and feathers.  I guess when something is your passion, you notice it more than others.  I try to find ways to nurture this love of nature and hopefully your birthday gifts do just that.  You’ve brought me out of my shell with regard to being outside and I thank you for that.

Handsome, sweet, sensitive and smart, I just can’t get enough of your smiling face or generous hugs.  They are strong and let me know just how much you love.  I love that you wanted to sleep with me for your birthday.  It reminds me of holding you in my arms when you were in the NICU.  I sat with you all day long, just holding you and staring at your sweet face, praying desperately to take you home.  I look at you now and can’t believe you were a NICU baby.  Although even back then, you were such a strong baby.


I thank God every day for you.  I pray each day for patience and the right words when you get upset.  I’m learning, not fast enough, but I’m trying because you deserve the best.  I want you always to have that look of pride and happiness on your face.  I love you my sweet child.  I know seven is going to be a great year for you!

God, Jesus and Mary pray for my son.  St. Gerard, pray for my BH too!!  You are his namesake!

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