Thank You

By | Posted June 6, 2011

Posted in Random | 8 Comments »

Since Squirt is busy writing “thank you” cards for his birthday gifts, it got me thinking about thank you cards in this day of texting and emails.  (For the record, mom and dad, Squirt thanked you in person, so no formal thank you cards this time.)

Is it tacky to text someone a thank you?  Email it?  Or do we need to send a handwritten note?  When is a personal phone call sufficient?

The answers vary depending on who you are.

My best friend needs a written thank you within a certain amount of time.  That’s the way she is.  Therefore my kids always get their cards to her fast.  She was never forced to write thank you notes.  For whatever reason, she learned really fast how to write them and get them out quick.  She managed to get all her cards out within a week of receiving gifts, even after having twins.  Generally, she expects nothing less in return.  I never want to be the subject of a call where she talks about not getting an acknowledgement for a gift.

My brother’s family could care less about a thank you card as long as you say thank you upon receiving the gift.  Even if you don’t see them in person while opening gifts, I don’t think they really care about notes or not.

So what’s a parent to do?  Force notes or not?  Are we supposed to be mad when children don’t write thank you notes, but still acknowledge you via text or an email?

Personally, I like written thank you notes.  But really, I just like to see the stationery used.  I’m so not a girly girl, but I love paper and stationery.  If not for my love of paper, I would be fine with a text or email.  Or phone call.  As a fan of the phone, I love a thank you phone call.

Recently, I sent a gift to someone I don’t normally just send gifts to.  I received a thank you note written by the recipient, but honestly, I would have much preferred a personal phone call.  But that’s just me.

I’m sure Emily Post would be horrified at the state of thank you notes today.  When my older girls send me a text saying thank you, I am more than happy.  When I send Chelsea a gift, mainly, I want to know she received the gift and that she liked it.  Texting can accomplish that.  The written thank you card is a bonus for me.  And for the record, I always get a text and written thank you from her, even though not necessary.

In my household, thank you notes are a must.  If a gift is mailed, a thank you note must be mailed in return.  When you receive a gift in person (ie from my parents at Christmas or birthdays), you write a note every other year.  My kids generally give a  huge thank you and hug in person which I know mean more than a written note.  However, I like them to practice their thank you notes in writing every so often too.  (Squirt’s notes this year are really good.)

The one thing that doesn’t happen for thank you notes are me writing in the form of the child.  For example, you will never read: “Thank you for my amazing outfit.  My dad thinks I look so pretty in it.” from Baby Z.  She can’t write, scribble or convey her feelings on a gift at this point.  Until she can articulate and write it herself, all thank you notes are from me.  I HATE thank you notes from parents in the form of a kid.  (Unless said parent is quoting the kid, but generally, I don’t think that happens.)  I know I’m in the minority on that one since I receive these all the time.

Want to know what is tackier than not sending a thank you note?  Calling someone or their parents out on the lack of card.  Rude, rude, rude.  Ten times worse than not writing the actual thank you card.  And don’t even act like you are worried the person never got the gift.  That is just a ruse to let the person know you are pissed about not getting a thank you card.

While I was never really taught to write thank you notes, I do a pretty good job with them.  I do have one good story about my notes.  When Lance and I got married, I sent thank you notes to everyone who came to our wedding.  Gift or not.  The wedding was a celebration of our love and gifts weren’t required.  As an added bonus, I sent pictures from the wedding.  Do people still place disposable cameras at tables?   We did and since it was film I had two copies of each roll printed when I developed the pictures.  There were some really good pictures.  While organizing the pictures and thank you cards, I misplaced three thank you cards.  And didn’t realize it until over a year later.  All of these people were friends of Lance.  I felt like the biggest loser.  Because regardless of your feelings on thank you cards, you HAVE to write thank you cards for wedding gifts.


Comments on Thank You

  1. From cory:

    My mom forced me to write thank you notes for my high school graduation gifts and that is the only time I’ve written any thank you note. We sent them out for wedding gifts but Denise did all of those. If someone gives me a gift, I thank them then and there. If it was mailed to me, I send a text or email. I hate talking on the phone so no one ever gets a call from me. If a text or email isn’t good enough then I would prefer they never get me a gift. Denise sends notes for the kids birthday gifts but I think it’s an antiquated practice.

  2. From Nicole:

    Of course, Denise wrote the thank you cards. Lance wasn’t helpful on our cards either. I assume that once the boys leave home they won’t write notes again unless I force them. I agree to some extent that the practice is a antiquated. It kind of annoys me to say thank you over the phone and then have to write notes to people who expect them. My fault though for doing it, I suppose.

  3. From Jenn:

    Admitted—I am the mom who writes t.y. notes in the voice of the kiddo. I’ll own it!

    🙂
    But I do believe in hand written thank you notes. A must! Although, we didn’t do them for Christmas this year. I think as W gets older, sending a sweet email thank you will be fine instead of a card/note. We’ll see.

    However, thank you notes cannot read, “Thank you for Item X. It is great. Love, –.” There MUST be something unique said in the note!

  4. From Shea:

    Don’t every send me a thank you note. The waste of paper and other resources it took to get it to my house offends me. TELL me thank you (in person, over email, or I’m not even offended by text). I mean, I want to know you got it/liked it/appreciate it, but you don’t have to kill a tree to let me know.

  5. From Chelsea:

    Thank you notes are the best! I wrote yall one for my birthday presents but I think it got lost in the mail after the tornado because Roy never got his either.

  6. From Nicole:

    I totally agree. It was really funny reading Drake’s notes, they were really good and interesting. Get this…he wrote them and now is waiting on me for addresses. I am the bad one!

  7. From Nicole:

    Shit…I think I killed a tree. Will you still love me?
    I won’t mail it though…that counts in my favor, right?! 🙂

  8. From Nicole:

    Nosy me…what did Roy get you? Better be good!